In many countries, the age of criminals is getting lower. Give reasons and solutions to the problem. Support your position with relevant example.
Sample Response
Unlike in the pastUnlike the past, in many countries, people engage inare seen engaged in criminal activities at an early age. There are two major reasons behind this and if appropriate measures are taken, the problem can be addressed properly.
Of the two major reasons, the first involvesis personal issues. To be clearer, serious issues existthere exist serious issues amongbetween the members of most modern families. These issues often arise fromare often because of emotional conflicts, financial pressure and at times due to personality changes. It is to be understood that the relationships in these families are extremely fragile, and hence disputes occur more frequentlydisputes are seen more frequent. Children of such families are often neglected and as a result, a sense of hostility is developed in their minds, which eventually makesmake them delinquents at a very youngyounger age.
The second cause of this issue iscause of this issue is due to the negative influence of societyinfluence of the society. Even though most people in modern societiesin the modern societies have a socially acceptable character, a minority of people are engagedthere exists a minority who are engaged in illegal activitiesaffairs like drug trafficking and smuggling. It is a fact that the youth are generally curious aboutin experimenting with adventurous activities, and hence they are drawn into thempassively dragged into these. Once they are into such activities, it is hard for them to think of a comeback. Technological advancements including social mediathe social media also play a key role in making the youth delinquent.
Turning to the solution, the first is to educate young childrenmake the young children educated about the difference between good and bad. This can be done at homehomes by their parents and schools can include moral lessons in their academic curriculum. The society should also remain safe and peaceful for its people, and the media should be periodically censored.
To conclude, it is clear that the primary factors behind the growing number of criminals among the youth are personal and social. It is also clear that the solutions to these problemssolutions for the same are highly practicalvery much practical.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response is strongest in its clear cause-by-cause organisation and its generally understandable explanation of family and social influences on youth crime. Its main limitation is that the solutions are brief, generic, and much less developed than the causes, with no concrete supporting example. The highest-priority improvement is to explain how each proposed measure would reduce offending and illustrate at least one measure with a specific, plausible example.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses both causes and solutions, but the solution side is noticeably underdeveloped and lacks a relevant example.
Develop two feasible measures by explaining their mechanisms and adding a concrete example of implementation or impact.
Coherence and Cohesion
Clear paragraphing and an orderly movement from causes to solutions create a logical progression throughout the essay.
Use more precise references between sentences so that repeated labels such as issue, these, and the same do not make links vague.
Lexical Resource
The essay shows a useful range of vocabulary for family conflict, crime, and education, but recurring collocational choices are unnatural.
Choose more idiomatic combinations for criminal involvement, experimentation, education, and social conditions.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex sentences communicates the argument, although agreement, article, preposition, and word-form errors recur.
Check each complex sentence for subject-verb agreement and revise passive constructions that produce awkward or inaccurate forms.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
In many countries, the age of criminals is getting lower. Give reasons and solutions to the problem. Support your position with relevant example.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.