The leaders of most organizations tend to be older people. However, some argue that younger people make better bosses. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
It is observed that senior person takes significant leadership positions in most companies these days. At the same time, some people believe that young minds could be more apt for these roles. I partially agree with this statement as I see the fit according to the requirement of the job and not with the relevant age range suitable for the job.
On the one hand, where the job professions or business companies have huge workforces that need senior people having the sound experience to be a good leaders because they often have stronger people skills than younger ones. Older employees bring skills, ideas, work experiences, and a depth of knowledge that adds value to the organization and business growth. They are more likely to develop time management, planning, and decision-making skills over the course of their careers, making them more stable and reliable bosses.
On the other hand, some popular career choices like advertising, promotions, and digital marketing, to name a few, require millennials or youth to lead as they follow innovative approaches to plan the tasks with great enthusiasm and passion. In all these professions where market research, digital platform, and creativity are involved, young minds do not hesitate to take up any challenges and adequately tend to take risks at the cost of opportunity and innovation, making them competent leaders to stimulate success at a faster rate.
To conclude, the argument says that the leaders of most organizations tend to be older people than younger ones; however, suitable job requirements and responsibilities become deciding factors for the lead role among the age groups.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use precise noun Original: believe that young minds Suggested revision: believe that younger people Why it matters: This phrase describes the age group more directly and naturally.
- 2. Improve collocation Original: could be more apt Suggested revision: may be better suited Why it matters: This is the natural expression for suitability to a role.
- 3. Clarify selection basis Original: according to the requirement of the job Suggested revision: based on the job's requirements Why it matters: The revised phrase clearly states that suitability depends on job requirements.
- 4. Repair comparison Original: not with the relevant age range suitable for the job Suggested revision: rather than the applicant's age Why it matters: This completes the contrast introduced by the preceding clause.
- 5. Remove faulty collocation Original: job professions Suggested revision: professions Why it matters: The two nouns overlap in meaning and do not form a natural collocation.
- 6. Remove redundancy Original: business companies Suggested revision: companies Why it matters: A company is already a business organisation, so the modifier is redundant.
- 7. Fix noun phrase Original: having the sound experience Suggested revision: with sufficient experience Why it matters: The revised prepositional phrase is grammatical and uses experience correctly as an uncountable noun.
- 8. Fix article agreement Original: a good leaders Suggested revision: good leaders Why it matters: The singular article cannot modify the plural noun leaders.
- 9. Use uncountable noun Original: experiences Suggested revision: experience Why it matters: Experience is uncountable when referring generally to accumulated professional knowledge.
- 10. Restore parallel meaning Original: adds value to the organization and business growth Suggested revision: adds value to the organization and supports business growth Why it matters: The added verb makes the two coordinated effects grammatically parallel.
- 11. Correct time reference Original: more likely to develop Suggested revision: more likely to have developed Why it matters: The perfect infinitive shows that these skills were acquired over their completed careers.
- 12. Name work sectors Original: career choices Suggested revision: fields Why it matters: Advertising and digital marketing are professional fields rather than individual career choices.
Suggested Rewrites
- believe that young minds believe that younger people
- could be more apt may be better suited
- according to the requirement of the job based on the job's requirements
- not with the relevant age range suitable for the job rather than the applicant's age
- job professions professions
- business companies companies
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response presents a clear, nuanced position and organizes relevant reasons about how leadership suitability varies by industry. Its main limitation is that support remains general and several awkward constructions and collocations weaken precision, especially in the body paragraphs. The highest-priority improvement is to develop each claim with a specific, fully explained example while editing sentence structure, agreement, and word choice for consistently natural expression.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response directly addresses the question with a clear partial-agreement position and relevant reasons for both age groups.
Develop each main idea with a specific example that demonstrates why the leadership advantage applies in that context.
Coherence and Cohesion
The four-paragraph structure and contrasting body sections create clear overall progression despite some awkward internal sentence links.
Use complete topic sentences and make each supporting sentence follow more explicitly from the paragraph's central claim.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary shows good range for leadership and workplace topics, but several imprecise collocations reduce naturalness.
Replace awkward combinations such as job professions and stimulate success with precise, conventional workplace expressions.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of complex structures is attempted successfully, although agreement, article, and clause-construction errors recur.
Proofread complex sentences for complete clause structure and consistent subject-verb, article, and singular-plural control.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
The leaders of most organizations tend to be older people. However, some argue that younger people make better bosses. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.