Some people think that zoos are all cruel and should be closed down. Others however believe that zoos can be useful in protecting wild animals. Discuss both opinions and give your own opinion.
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Sample Response
While some people believe that zoos play an important role in protecting wild animals, others feel that keeping animals locked up in such places is cruel and unnecessary. Personally, I agree with the idea that animals should not be kept in zoos and that zoos should be shut down.
On the one hand, many people feel that zoos are useful in some respectsregards. Firstly, zoos can help to preserve endangered animals by keeping them safe from poachers and other threats, such as habitat destruction and the spread of urbanisation. Some zoos also run breeding programs to increasein order to try and increase the populations of endangered speciesthe numbers of some endangered species to prevent them from becoming extinctto avoid them becoming extinct. Secondly, by keeping animals in zoos, people can learnlearn and understand more about them, and this canabout them and this can help to raise awareness amongst the public to help preservein order to help preserve certain species.
However, while the aforementionedabovementioned ideas may be true to a certain extent, I believe that zoos are unnecessary for the following reasons. To begin with, zoos can only hold small numbers of animals and therefore cannot protect the vastlarge majority of species from being hunted or their habitats from being destroyed. I believe it is the responsibility of each government to create and fund conservation programs that help to stop the destruction of the habitats of endangered species so that animals can live in their natural state rather than be locked up in cages for their entire liveslife. Furthermore, in many zoos, animals are mistreatedanimals are being mistreated as they are often provided with insufficient food and medical care, which has so far caused many animals in zoos to die because of starvation and diseases.
In conclusion, though some zoos may have some positive impacts on the conservation of some certain animal species, overall, I think they are cruel places and do more harm than good.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The essay responds directly to every part of the task, sustains a clear opinion, and develops both perspectives with relevant explanations and examples in a very logical structure. The main limitation is occasional imprecision or awkwardness in otherwise varied vocabulary, while some signposting is slightly formulaic. Focus on more natural collocations and tighter phrasing so that the strong argument is expressed with consistently precise language.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are fully discussed, the writer's position is explicit throughout, and the supporting reasons are relevant and well developed.
Refine the opposing case by qualifying the broad mistreatment claim with a more specific explanation or example.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is logically sequenced, clearly paragraphed, and cohesive throughout without loss of focus.
Make the progression still more natural by relying slightly less on overt enumerators such as 'Firstly' and 'Secondly'.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and topic-appropriate, with enough flexibility to express both conservation benefits and ethical objections precisely.
Replace awkward combinations such as 'some certain animal species' and 'useful in some regards' with more natural, economical wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex sentences is handled accurately, with only occasional non-impeding slips.
Check agreement and reference in longer sentences, for example using plural 'lives' when referring back to animals.