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Tất cả dạng bài27Academic Task 19General Training Task 16Task 212
Band chính thức
Tất cả Band278.538.017.527.046.516.055.545.034.033.01
21
General Training · Task 2 · response A
General Training · Task 2
Band4.0
Số từ
179
Dạng bài
Bài luận hai câu hỏi
Đề bài đầy đủ
WRITING TASK 2
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Write about the following topic:
Shopping is becoming more and more popular as a leisure activity. However, some people feel that this has both positive and negative effects.
Why is shopping so popular?
What effects does its increase in popularity have on individuals and on society?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Write at least 250 words.
Bài viết đầy đủ của thí sinh
I think shopping is becoming more and more popular as a leisure activity. For example Tee Tree Plaza Shopping Cener as a biggest shopping center in Adelaide. I'm working at the take way shop in the T.T.P Shopping Center. There are huge number of costmer working around in the center every day. Many people buy lots of foods, drinks, clothes and they are hand carry or they put in the trolly. On the other hand some peple are only window shopping.
I sometime worry about people who bought many things into trollys, because I think may be they are use money alot, and also some ladies who wear a looks expencive juellies. I have one friend who bankrupt his self, because he had a expencive car, a expencive cloth, etc. I think bad effect is many loan campany established these year. People easy to borrow money from loan campany and easy to go to bankalpt. People must concider about when they go to the shopping. Therefore before buy something people must consider about shopping such as for your self.
Nhận xét đầy đủ của giám khảo
The first part of the task (Why is shopping so popular?) is not addressed. The opening paragraph describes a large shopping centre but does not tell us why shopping is popular. The second paragraph presents the effect on individuals, but not on society as a whole. We can see that the writer thinks there are negative effects but the main ideas presented do not relate directly to this question. The relationship between ideas can be followed but there is a lack of progression in relation to the question. Some cohesive devices are used, but not always correctly and this leads to some repetition. Spelling errors are intrusive and cause strain. There is some relevant vocabulary, but overall the range is inadequate for the task. Frequent errors in syntax, verb phrases and articles keep the rating down, despite basic structures being present. The failure to address the task and the weaknesses in vocabulary and grammar limit this response to an overall Band 4.
22
General Training · Task 2 · response B
General Training · Task 2
Band6.0
Số từ
243
Dạng bài
Bài luận hai câu hỏi
Đề bài đầy đủ
WRITING TASK 2
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Write about the following topic:
Shopping is becoming more and more popular as a leisure activity. However, some people feel that this has both positive and negative effects.
Why is shopping so popular?
What effects does its increase in popularity have on individuals and on society?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Write at least 250 words.
Bài viết đầy đủ của thí sinh
Shopping as a leisure activity is an issue that araises an endless debates. There are, therefore, many arguments about positive and negative effects, In this essay I am writing to about the reasons of shopping's popularity and the effects on individuals and on society
To begin with, shopping is regarded as a kind of leisure activities such as sports, reading books and watching movies. Sometimes shopping makes a person feel relexed, it is especially true for people who have a lot of money. Most of all many shopper feel proxy satisfaction when they have the right to choose something.
Of course the effects of its popularity depend on individuals and society. But there are a number of effects on individual and society in general
Over consumption is a major problem. The excessive preference of shopping might result in over consuming And abnormal consumption lead to a violence of nature
To satisfy consumers' need, a lot of companies have to exploit the nature
The excessive consumption beyond normal shopping is responsible for social tension and class divisions. Because many person who can not effort to buy life commodities might feel anti-society attitude.
from the above we considered two issues. These are very important issues because shopping is an inevitable part of our life. In the future I can hope that shoppers have to consider the influence on the other persons, the nature and society. And the government educate the general public do sound consumption
Nhận xét đầy đủ của giám khảo
The main parts of the task are addressed, although the first part (Why is shopping so popular?) is presented more fully than the second (the effects). Ideas are relevant but there is a lack of clarity which prevents a higher band score. Nevertheless, there is a clear overall progression in the response because ideas are logically organised. A range of markers is used effectively to link ideas, although there are errors in the use of some basic connectives. The test taker attempts to use a range of vocabulary and introduces some less common expressions, although with mixed success. Some expressions remain unclear, while others are used repetitively. Nevertheless, there is sufficient range and control to be adequate for the task. A mix of simple and complex structures is evident, but errors in grammar and punctuation occur and indicate limitations in control, although these errors generally do not reduce communication.
23
General Training · Task 2 · response C
General Training · Task 2
Band8.5
Số từ
351
Dạng bài
Bài luận hai câu hỏi
Đề bài đầy đủ
WRITING TASK 2
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Write about the following topic:
Shopping is becoming more and more popular as a leisure activity. However, some people feel that this has both positive and negative effects.
Why is shopping so popular?
What effects does its increase in popularity have on individuals and on society?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Write at least 250 words.
Bài viết đầy đủ của thí sinh
Shopping is very popular among the majority of the population, despite their age or social standards. This is due to the fact that most people find shopping as an experience which makes a difference in their day to day life Some people find themselves in a different world, surrounded by various material things which they may or may not be able to purchase. Even if they are not able to finance these, they find much pleasure in looking and feeling these things and imagining owning them some day, some people go shopping when they really want to purchase things and they prefer to look around and compare the prices before buying them. I think most people love to go shopping because, then they could meet friends, make contacts with people, and get to know what is in the latest trend. It provides them a pleasant distraction from their routine and sometimes dull life.
The most important effect shopping has on an individual is that it nourishes the self-esteem, An individual may find the social-contact most gratifying and this makes people come out of their shells and be more extrovert. Purchasing something, as well as knowing that you are financially able to purchase something give more self confidence to people.
The increase in popularity to go shopping has many effects on the society. People may be encouraged to go into new businesses and it will improve the economy. More job opportunities will be created for people in these businesses. Encouraged by the increase of popularity manufacturers will try to improve their products, so that the consumers can have a wide range of products at competitive prices. The overall quality of the product as well as the services provided by the sales staff will be improved.
More job opportunities will be created in advertising as the manufacturers try to sell their product Consumers will have a better knowledge of the product so that they will not be misleaded by inferior quality products.
I find shopping an interesting and pleasurable experience, as each year passes by, simply because it enriches my heart and mind.
Nhận xét đầy đủ của giám khảo
This is a very strong response which directly answers the question. Each part of the task is explored in depth, ideas are set out clearly and well-developed. There is a clear progression throughout the response and lapses in coherence and cohesion are minimal. The personal comment in the final paragraph means that the ending does not relate directly to the question, but this is considered a minor lapse. A wide range of vocabulary is used with flexibility and precision throughout the response and errors are very rare. The occasional minor errors or omissions in structures do not detract from the wide range, flexible and accurate use generally, and the majority of structures are error-free. This is a clear example of a strong performance at overall Band 8.5.
24
Academic · Task 1 · response candidate_response_1
Academic · Task 1
Band6.0
Số từ
229
Dạng bài
Biểu đồ cột
Đề bài đầy đủ
You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. Write at least 150 words.
The chart below shows the number of trips made by children in one country in 1990 and 2010 to travel to and from school using different modes of transport.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Bài viết đầy đủ của thí sinh
The chart gives you information on how children travelled to and from school in the years 1990 and 2010. The modes of transport were by car, walking, cycling, walking and by bus and by bus only.
A striking feature in this chart is that the number of children who travelled by car has increased from 1990 to 2010. In 1990 the most number of trips per year by children were by walking. However in 2010 it reduced to up to 6 million trips per year. The total number of trips to school by cycling and walking and bus were approximately 6 million in 1990.
However the number of trips to school by cycling reduced to 2 million and the number of trips to school by walking and bus reduced to about 3 million in 2010. There isn’t a significant change to the number of trips to school by bus. In 1990 it was about 7 million and in 2010 it came down to approximately 5 million.
In 1990 the amount of children who travelled to and from school by car was significantly lower than the children who travelled by walking. In contrast in 2010 the number of children who travelled to school by car increased and the number of children walking to school has decreased. In 2010 children travelled to school by bus more than they cycled to school.
Nhận xét đầy đủ của giám khảo
The key features which are selected are covered and clearly highlighted, but reporting is somewhat mechanical and data is provided to support only some of the descriptions. There is a relevant overview in the final paragraph, with a summary of the main changes. Information and ideas are generally arranged coherently, though there is some repetition [number of trips]. Cohesive devices are used effectively and there is a clear progression overall. The range of vocabulary is sufficient to allow some flexibility, with some less common items. For a higher band, a wider range of vocabulary could be used, within the scope of the task. There is a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, used fairly accurately, but again, there is not a wide enough variety of structures to achieve a higher band.
25
Academic · Task 1 · response candidate_response_2
Academic · Task 1
Band4.0
Số từ
119
Dạng bài
Biểu đồ cột
Đề bài đầy đủ
You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. Write at least 150 words.
The chart below shows the number of trips made by children in one country in 1990 and 2010 to travel to and from school using different modes of transport.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Bài viết đầy đủ của thí sinh
The statistice show the number of tripe mad by children in one country over the past to years to travel to end from school using different modes of transport.
children walking (13 million) are the by far highset, while, the children use bus (7 million) are a bit higher than the children use car in 1990. However, The children use car (11 million) in 2010 significant higher than The children use bus (5 million) in 2010. In contrest, The children walking (6 million) are Twice as high as the children use cycling (3 million) in 2010.
overall, At the end priod there were 12,000,000 children walking in 1990, 11,000,000 children use care in 2010 and 5,000,000 children use bus.
Nhận xét đầy đủ của giám khảo
This response does generally try to address the requirements of the task but the key features are not adequately covered. Limited detail is provided, for example, there is no reference to the ‘walking and bus’ categories. Information is presented, but it is difficult to identify organisation and there is no clear progression within the response. There are some cohesive devices but these are mostly inaccurate. The range of vocabulary is not minimally adequate for the task, it is basic and used repetitively. There is limited control over spelling, and errors cause confusion [tripe mad/trips made]. A limited range of sentence forms is used and although some structures are produced accurately, errors are frequent and this does impede meaning.
26
Academic · Task 2 · response candidate_response_1
Academic · Task 2
Band5.5
Số từ
198
Dạng bài
Bài luận quan điểm
Đề bài đầy đủ
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write at least 250 words.
Write about the following topic:
The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Bài viết đầy đủ của thí sinh
I completly disagree with the written statment. I believe that most of the people in the world have more information about their health and also about how they can improve their healthy conditions.
Nowadays, information about how harmful is to smoke for our bodies can be seen in many packets of cigars. This is a clear example how things can change from our recent past.
There is a clear trend in the diminishing of smokers and if this continues it will have a positive impact in our health.
On the other hand, the alimentation habbits are changing all over the world and this can affect people’s health. However every one can choose what to eat every day. Mostly everybody, from developed societies, know the importance of having a healthy diet.
Advances such as the information showed in the menus of fast food restaurants will help people to have a clever choice before they choose what to eat.
Another important issue that I would like to mention is how medicine is changing. There are new discovers and treatments almost every week and that is an inequivoque sintom of how things are changing in order to improve the world’s health.
Nhận xét đầy đủ của giám khảo
A clear position is presented from the outset, supported by relevant ideas. These would require further development to achieve a higher score. It is also useful to note, this response does not meet the minimum word count for Task 2 of 250 words, so there is room for further development. Information and ideas are generally arranged coherently and there is a clear overall progression. Cohesive devices are used effectively, but paragraphing is not always logical. A range of vocabulary is attempted, although there is a lack of precision in word choice and there are some errors in spelling and word formation. There also appears to be some interference from the test taker’s first language, e.g. ‘alimentation’, but these features do not make the answer difficult to understand. There is a mix of sentence forms, but the level of error is too high to achieve a higher band score.
27
Academic · Task 2 · response candidate_response_2
Academic · Task 2
Band7.5
Số từ
375
Dạng bài
Bài luận quan điểm
Đề bài đầy đủ
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write at least 250 words.
Write about the following topic:
The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Bài viết đầy đủ của thí sinh
Recently, there have been a lot of discussions about health and whether it is going to improve or not. In my opinion, I think that people will become unhealthier in the future than they are now.
There are many reasons that support the idea of people becoming unhealthy in the future.
Firstly, one reason is that of food. People tend to eat more fast food nowadays. They tend to treat themselves with sweets and chocolate whenever they want. This appears to be because people are busier now than they used to be. So, people don’t have a chance to cook or even learn the art of cookery. Also, having a lot of unhealthy food can lead to obesity and it could be a serious issue in the future. Another reason is that technology is developing everyday. Young people enjoy buying new gadgets and the latest devices. This has a negative impact on their health, especially when they enjoy video games. Spending long hours looking at a screen can lead to bad eyesight and obesity as well. Yet another reason is that laziness is a big issue. Different forms of exercise might disappear in the future because people don’t like sports. Also, people prefer spending most of their time on the internet and the internet is growing every single day.
Other people might disagree and say that health will improve in the future. They believe that new sports and new ways to exercise will appear in the future. However, I don’t think it can happen since the majority of people spend less time outdoors. Moreover, other people believe that technology will try and help people improve their health. For example, there have been some games released on the Wii console that makes people exercise but technology is developing more in a negative way. For instance, many phone industries are developing new applications everyday and today’s generation likes to follow every trend.
This prevents people to go outside to exercise. They like to spend more time on the internet downloading new programmes or reading gossips about celebraties. This affects people’s health badly.
In conclusion, I believe that people’s health is affected negatively by fast food, technology and sports and it will be a problem in the future.
Nhận xét đầy đủ của giám khảo
This is a strong response. A clear position is presented at the outset and some ideas are explored to support it. An alternative position is also considered but rejected. Ideas are logically organised and there is a clear progression throughout the response. Cohesive devices are generally used flexibly, but there is some overuse of sequencers in paragraph 2 [Firstly | So | Also | Yet]. Paragraphing is generally effective but could perhaps be used more appropriately by breaking down paragraphs 2 and 3. There is a wide range of vocabulary with good use of less common items as well as evidence of higher-level features, such as ‘softening’, e.g. ‘They tend to’, ‘This appears to be’, and ‘might disagree’. Errors in spelling and word formation are rare. There is also a variety of complex structures with frequent error-free sentences, though some errors do occur and there is some overuse of rather short sentence forms.