The diagrams below give information on transport and car use in Edmonton.
Sample Response
The provided pie chart illustrates four different modes of transportation used by Edmonton citizens and their motivations for using the car in this city. Overall, the car was the primary means of transportation for Edmonton citizens and rail was more popular among them than the taxi and bus. As is observed from the given diagram, approximately half of the total travellers preferred to go by car. However, the possible reason to travel by car was to go to the job which was 55%, followed by business (45%) and taking children to school (40%). Interestingly, it was least prioritised while they went for shopping and leisure activities using their cars. Besides, 35% of the citizens commuted by Light Rail Transit whereas bus and taxi were equally used by the Edmonton people with 10% both. It is obvious that people in Edmonton city preferred Light Rail Transit over the taxies and buses as the rail commuters well exceeded the bus and taxi users in this city.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use present tense Original: was Suggested revision: is Why it matters: The diagrams present undated information, so the present tense is appropriate.
- 2. Keep tense consistent Original: was Suggested revision: is Why it matters: The overview should consistently describe the current chart in the present tense.
- 3. Use generic plurals Original: than the taxi and bus Suggested revision: than taxis and buses Why it matters: The comparison refers generally to these two transport modes, so plural nouns are natural.
- 4. Use survey reference Original: total travellers Suggested revision: respondents Why it matters: “Respondents” more accurately identifies the people represented by the transport shares.
- 5. Avoid inferred preference Original: preferred to go by car Suggested revision: used a car Why it matters: The pie chart shows transport use rather than a stated preference.
- 6. Fix equal-share phrase Original: with 10% both Suggested revision: at 10% each Why it matters: “At 10% each” is the correct structure for two equal proportions.
- 7. Correct plural spelling Original: taxies Suggested revision: taxis Why it matters: The standard plural of “taxi” is “taxis.”
- 8. Use concise chart link Original: As is observed from the given diagram Suggested revision: As shown in the pie chart Why it matters: The replacement names the relevant visual and removes a wordy passive phrase.
- 9. Report exact car share Original: approximately half Suggested revision: 45% Why it matters: The pie chart provides the exact car share, so the precise value is preferable.
- 10. Use formal addition link Original: Besides Suggested revision: In addition Why it matters: “In addition” is a clearer formal transition to the remaining transport shares.
- 11. Use neutral chart tense Original: 35% of the citizens commuted by Light Rail Transit Suggested revision: 35% used Light Rail Transit Why it matters: The concise present-tense wording reports the undated chart without inferring commuting purpose.
- 12. Place equal adverb naturally Original: whereas bus and taxi were equally used Suggested revision: while bus and taxi were used equally Why it matters: The revision uses natural adverb placement in the comparison.
Suggested Rewrites
- was is
- was is
- than the taxi and bus than taxis and buses
- total travellers respondents
- preferred to go by car used a car
- with 10% both at 10% each
Why this response received Band 7.0
The report gives an accurate overview, covers all four transport shares, and correctly ranks the main reasons for car use. Its strongest feature is the clear comparison between cars, light rail, buses, and taxis; the main limitation is repetitive organisation and slightly vague reporting of shopping and leisure. Prioritise concise grouping and include their shared figure directly.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The key patterns and almost all figures are accurately selected, with only the exact 15% values for shopping and leisure left unstated.
Report that shopping and leisure were jointly the lowest reasons at 15% each, and distinguish clearly between transport shares and reasons for car use.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information progresses logically from the overview to reasons and mode shares, but the final light-rail comparison unnecessarily repeats the overview.
Use separate detail paragraphs for the pie chart and table, ending after each dataset's most useful comparison.
Lexical Resource
The response has a sufficient range of transport and comparison vocabulary, though several expressions are awkward or slightly inaccurate.
Prefer 'commuting to work', 'the least common reasons', '10% each', and the plural 'taxis'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Most sentences are clear and varied, with occasional problems in pronoun reference, prepositions, and comparative phrasing.
Use explicit subjects for each dataset and revise structures such as '55% used cars to commute to work'.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The diagrams below give information on transport and car use in Edmonton.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.