The diagrams below give information on transport and car use in Edmonton.
Sample Response
The given data shows the type and reason for the transportation used in Edmonton. According to the given information, the car was the most common transportation type used by the people of Edmond and work and business purpose was the main two reasons they travelled. In general, people of Edmonton travelled mostly for work, business and to reach their children to school and they used mostly cars and rails for that. As is presented in the pie chart and table, 45% of travel was made by cars whereas the light rail transit was used 35%. These two were the highest used transportation types used by the people of Edmonton. Bus and Taxi were both used 10% of the total travel which was much lesser than the use of car and rail transportations. According to the table data, most people travelled to commute to work and the percentage of it was 55. The send the highest percentage of people travelled for the business purpose which was 10% less than the work commuting reason. For shopping and leisure activity 15% of people travelled and to take children to their school was another reason people travelled which occupies 40% of their total travel.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Subject agreement Original: shows Suggested revision: show Why it matters: Data takes a plural verb in formal academic English.
- 2. Use plural nouns Original: the type and reason Suggested revision: the types and reasons Why it matters: The visuals contain multiple transport types and multiple reasons.
- 3. Use concise term Original: the transportation used Suggested revision: transport use Why it matters: Transport use is more natural and concise here.
- 4. Wrong place name Original: Edmond Suggested revision: Edmonton Why it matters: The city shown in the task is Edmonton.
- 5. Agreement and number Original: work and business purpose was Suggested revision: work and business purposes were Why it matters: The compound plural subject requires were.
- 6. Word order Original: the main two reasons Suggested revision: the two main reasons Why it matters: Two main reasons is the natural adjective order.
- 7. Wrong verb phrase Original: reach Suggested revision: take Why it matters: Take children to school is the correct collocation.
- 8. Match transport mode Original: cars and rails Suggested revision: cars and light rail transit Why it matters: The chart labels the second mode as LRT, not rails generally.
- 9. Clarify modal share Original: 45% of travel was made by cars Suggested revision: cars accounted for 45% of journeys Why it matters: This accurately expresses the car share in the pie chart.
- 10. Missing preposition Original: was used 35% Suggested revision: accounted for 35% Why it matters: Accounted for is the correct pattern for a percentage share.
- 11. Wrong superlative Original: highest used transportation types Suggested revision: most widely used transport modes Why it matters: Most widely used is the natural superlative phrase.
- 12. Unnecessary capitals Original: Taxi Suggested revision: taxi Why it matters: Taxi is a common noun and should not be capitalised mid-sentence.
Suggested Rewrites
- shows show
- the type and reason the types and reasons
- the transportation used transport use
- Edmond Edmonton
- work and business purpose was work and business purposes were
- the main two reasons the two main reasons
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response selects all the main figures accurately and provides a useful overview of the dominant transport modes and reasons for car use. Its impact is reduced by one-paragraph organisation and frequent awkward or erroneous phrasing, including a garbled comparison of work and business. Prioritise clearer paragraphing and controlled comparative sentences so the accurate data is communicated more fluently.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response accurately covers every transport share and car-use reason, with an overview identifying the principal patterns.
Make the overview more precise by distinguishing the transport-mode chart from the table, which concerns reasons for car use only.
Coherence and Cohesion
The charts are discussed in a logical sequence, but the single paragraph and some repetitive linking make progression less effective.
Create distinct introduction, overview, and detail paragraphs, grouping the pie-chart and table comparisons separately.
Lexical Resource
There is enough topic vocabulary to describe modes, purposes, and comparisons, although several choices are awkward or inaccurate.
Use natural forms such as 'transport modes', 'take children to school', and 'lower than' instead of 'transportations', 'reach their children', and 'lesser than'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts varied sentence structures, but frequent agreement, article, and clause errors sometimes disrupt fluency and precision.
Practise controlled comparison sentences and proofread malformed clauses, especially the sentence introducing the second-highest purpose.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The diagrams below give information on transport and car use in Edmonton.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.