The diagrams below give information on transport and car use in Edmonton.
Sample Response
The pie chart shows how people in the city of Edmonton use four modestypes of transport, while the table provides data on five different reasons for driving. Overall, the city dwellers prefer cars to LRT (Light Rail Transit), buses and taxis, whilebus and taxi; and people mostly use cars to commute to workin order to travel to work. The data showAs the information suggests, 45% of people in Edmontonthe people in Edmonton city travel by carlike to drive, while the figure regarding the LRT system stands at 10 percentage points lowerexactly one-tenth less. The remaining 20% is equally divided between bus and taxi usebetween using bus and taxi. This also means that the number of people driving more than doubles the combined total of bus and taxi users. And those using the LRT more than triple both the number of people choosing a bus and those travelling by taxi. Among the reasonsAmong reasons for using cars in the city, work travel accounts for more than halfmore than a half. Taking children to schoolschools and businessbusiness activities represent 40% and 45%, respectively. InterestinglyAnd interestingly, the proportions of those using cars to go shopping and take part in leisure activities were similar, both stand at 15%. Delete[Writen by - Nguyen Thuong Vu]
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response accurately identifies the dominant transport mode and principal reason for car use, and it supports the overview with well-chosen, correct comparisons. Its main limitation is presentation: all information is compressed into one paragraph, while a few awkward or inconsistent constructions reduce polish. Prioritise separating the overview from the detail paragraphs and maintaining grammatical consistency in comparative and percentage statements.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response fully addresses both visuals with an accurate overview, correct figures, and effective comparisons among the main features.
Refine the presentation by describing proportions neutrally rather than interpreting them as personal preferences.
Coherence and Cohesion
The information is logically ordered from the pie chart to the table, with clear progression and appropriate referencing.
Divide the response into an introduction and overview followed by separate detail paragraphs for the two visuals.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and generally precise, with effective phrases for proportions and comparisons, though a few expressions are slightly awkward.
Replace wording such as “the figure regarding the LRT system” with more direct, natural comparative language.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A good range of complex structures is used with generally strong control, although a few agreement, tense, and punctuation lapses remain.
Maintain consistent tense and agreement, particularly in the final sentence comparing shopping and leisure figures.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The diagrams below give information on transport and car use in Edmonton.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.