The graph below presents the number of different airline flights coming to Hong Kong per week in 1980 and 2000. Number of flights coming to Hong Kong per week
Sample Response
The bar graph shows the number of incoming flights from different airlines to Hong Kong in a week both in 1980 and 2000.
Overall, weekly incoming flights to Hong Kong increased significantly in 20 years and the majority of these flights came from Thailand, Singapore and Malaysia. According to the illustration, the highest airlifts in a week in Hong Kong was from Singapore Airways, accounting 16 different flights in 1980. Japanese and Thai Airlines landed 12 flights each to Hong Kong. Different air flights from Malaysia and Korea were marginally lower than that of Thai Airways. Cathay Pacific had 8 flights in a week and the lease number of air voyages to Hong Kong came from Canadian Air - only 2/week. After two decades, the weekly flight number from these airways considerably went up and the highest flights (45) came from Thai Airways, roughly 4 times higher than that of two decades ago. A similar number of flights came from Malaysian and Singaporean airlines and these flights noticeably rose compared to 1980’s flight number. Interestingly, 10 flights per week came from Dragon airways in 2000 and this airline did not have any flight to Hong Kong in 1980. Flights from Japanese and Korean airways trebled and doubled respectively per week while 5 from Canadian Airs reached Hong Kong per week.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Correct frequency phrase Original: in a week both in Suggested revision: per week in both Why it matters: Per week is the natural frequency expression before the two years.
- 2. Use period preposition Original: in 20 years Suggested revision: over the 20-year period Why it matters: Over correctly describes change across a span, and the compound modifier needs a hyphen.
- 3. Name flight total Original: the highest airlifts Suggested revision: the highest number of flights Why it matters: Airlifts describes transport operations rather than the scheduled flight count shown.
- 4. Fix plural agreement Original: was Suggested revision: came Why it matters: The plural subject number of flights is expressed naturally with came from.
- 5. Add required preposition Original: accounting 16 Suggested revision: accounting for 16 Why it matters: The fixed phrase is account for when introducing a numerical share or total.
- 6. Use chart airline names Original: Japanese and Thai Airlines landed Suggested revision: Japan Airlines and Thai Airways operated Why it matters: The replacement matches the chart labels and uses the appropriate verb for scheduled flights.
- 7. Remove redundant wording Original: Different air flights Suggested revision: The numbers of flights Why it matters: Air flights is redundant, and the sentence compares numerical totals.
- 8. Complete numerical comparison Original: lower than that of Thai Airways Suggested revision: lower than the figure for Thai Airways Why it matters: The replacement compares flight totals with a corresponding numerical figure.
- 9. Correct spelling error Original: lease Suggested revision: lowest Why it matters: Lease is the wrong word; lowest is the required superlative.
- 10. Format weekly figure Original: Canadian Air - only 2/week Suggested revision: Canadian Air, at only two per week Why it matters: A comma and written-out frequency integrate the value correctly into the sentence.
- 11. Use natural noun order Original: the weekly flight number Suggested revision: the weekly number of flights Why it matters: Number of flights is the standard noun structure for the measured total.
- 12. Use formal trend verb Original: considerably went up Suggested revision: increased considerably Why it matters: The revised verb phrase is more natural and formal for graph reporting.
Suggested Rewrites
- in a week both in per week in both
- in 20 years over the 20-year period
- the highest airlifts the highest number of flights
- was came
- accounting 16 accounting for 16
- Japanese and Thai Airlines landed Japan Airlines and Thai Airways operated
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response gives a clear overview of the substantial growth in weekly flights and supports it with accurate rankings and comparisons for nearly every airline in both years. Its strongest feature is the detailed, largely reliable coverage of the data; the main limitation is frequently awkward terminology and sentence construction. The priority is to replace forced synonyms with standard chart language and organise the two years into separate detail paragraphs.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The overall increase and leading airlines are accurately identified, and nearly all categories are supported with correct values or proportional comparisons.
Add the exact 2000 figures for Japan and Cathay Pacific while keeping the comparison selective rather than listing every value.
Coherence and Cohesion
The overview is clear and the details progress logically from 1980 to 2000, though the dense second paragraph contains all comparisons.
Use one detail paragraph for each year and align airline comparisons in a consistent order.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a broad range of comparison language, but terms such as 'airlifts', 'air voyages', and 'Canadian Airs' are inappropriate or inaccurate.
Prefer precise expressions such as 'weekly flights', 'services operated by the airline', and the exact airline names shown in the chart.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A variety of complex structures conveys the data, but agreement, articles, prepositions, and comparative forms contain recurring errors.
Practise structures such as 'accounting for 16 flights', 'four times as many as', and 'the number of flights from each airline rose'.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph below presents the number of different airline flights coming to Hong Kong per week in 1980 and 2000. Number of flights coming to Hong Kong per week
Your response
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