The table below gives data on the hour of leisure time per year for people in Someland.
Sample Response
The table shows how people in different age groups spend their leisure time in Someland over the course of a year. Overall, the amount of leisure time available varies considerably across the age groups and people of different age levels have very different ways of spending their leisure time. According to the figures, as people age in Someland, their time for socialising reduces. Teenagers and people in their twenties spend around 500 and 350 hours per year on socialising with a group of more than 4 people. Although the total hours of socialising in their 30s, 40s, 50s and 60s are fairly constant (between 300-350), socialising with more than 4 people drops dramatically to 50 hours in the 30s and 40s age groups. Group and individual exercise follow a similar pattern. People of all ages spend a good part of their leisure time on entertainment such as enjoying TV/ video and cinema. In both cases, teenagers and retired people spend around twice as much time as those who are at working age. Home entertainment ranges from just over a thousand hours for teenagers and retired people and an average of 600 hours for everyone else. Cinema accounts for 100 hours of the teenagers and retired people’s leisure and 25-50 hours for the rest. It is worth noticing that there is a significant trend towards solitary and smaller group activities as people grow older.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Name measured time Original: amount of leisure time available Suggested revision: amount of time spent on leisure activities Why it matters: The table records time spent on listed activities rather than people's total available leisure time.
- 2. Fix trend collocation Original: their time for socialising reduces Suggested revision: their time spent socialising decreases Why it matters: Time 'decreases', while 'reduces' normally takes an object in this construction.
- 3. Correct socialising trend Original: are fairly constant (between 300-350) Suggested revision: decline from 350 to 225 hours Why it matters: The combined socialising totals fall from 350 hours in the thirties to 225 in the sixties.
- 4. Use clear category wording Original: TV/ video Suggested revision: television and videos Why it matters: The replacement states the combined category clearly in prose.
- 5. Match table category Original: Home entertainment ranges Suggested revision: Watching television and videos ranges Why it matters: The table labels this activity specifically rather than using the broader category 'home entertainment'.
- 6. Correct cinema figures Original: Cinema accounts for 100 hours of the teenagers and retired people’s leisure Suggested revision: Cinema accounts for 100 hours for teenagers and 75 hours for retired people Why it matters: The table shows different cinema totals for teenagers and people aged seventy or over.
- 7. Include twenties figure Original: 25-50 hours for the rest Suggested revision: 25-75 hours for the other age groups Why it matters: People in their twenties spend 75 hours at the cinema, so the stated range is too narrow.
- 8. Use consistent age term Original: people of different age levels Suggested revision: the different age groups Why it matters: 'Age groups' is the precise term already used to describe the table's categories.
- 9. Express annual period concisely Original: over the course of a year Suggested revision: annually Why it matters: The concise adverb states the yearly reporting period without changing the meaning.
- 10. Streamline the trend lead-in Original: According to the figures, as people age in Someland Suggested revision: As people in Someland age Why it matters: The shorter clause introduces the age-related trend directly and naturally.
- 11. Use formal age wording Original: their 30s, 40s, 50s and 60s Suggested revision: their thirties, forties, fifties and sixties Why it matters: Spelling out the decades is more consistent with formal report prose.
- 12. Complete the large-group decline Original: socialising with more than 4 people drops dramatically to 50 hours in the 30s and 40s age groups Suggested revision: socialising with more than four people falls to 50 hours in the thirties and forties and then to 25 hours from the fifties onward Why it matters: The table shows a further fall to 25 hours in each of the three oldest groups.
Suggested Rewrites
- amount of leisure time available amount of time spent on leisure activities
- their time for socialising reduces their time spent socialising decreases
- are fairly constant (between 300-350) decline from 350 to 225 hours
- TV/ video television and videos
- Home entertainment ranges Watching television and videos ranges
- Cinema accounts for 100 hours of the teenagers and retired people’s leisure Cinema accounts for 100 hours for teenagers and 75 hours for retired people
Why this response received Band 7.0
The report is clearly organised and identifies the broad shift toward solitary or smaller-group leisure as people age, supported by several useful comparisons. Its main limitation is data accuracy: some socialising totals are misstated, the exercise categories are generalised together despite different patterns, and cinema comparisons are overstated. The highest priority is to verify each category separately and select exact figures that substantiate the overview.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response provides a relevant overview and covers major leisure categories, but several figures and trends are inaccurate or overgeneralised.
Check each row independently, noting that both younger groups record 350 hours of large-group socialising and that individual and group exercise follow different patterns.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information progresses logically from socialising and exercise to entertainment, with clear referencing and generally effective connections.
Separate the exercise and entertainment comparisons into distinct focused paragraphs so each pattern is easier to follow.
Lexical Resource
The report uses varied, appropriate vocabulary for trends and comparisons, with only occasional awkward or imprecise phrasing.
Use exact category labels consistently and replace broad phrases such as different age levels with more precise age-group references.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of sentence structures is used with strong control, and the few grammatical lapses do not impede communication.
Refine comparison structures, especially sentences combining ranges and averages, to maintain parallel and unambiguous grammar.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The table below gives data on the hour of leisure time per year for people in Someland.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.