The table below gives data on the hour of leisure time per year for people in Someland.
Sample Response
The table shows data on the leisure activities of people from different age groups in a year in Someland. Generally speaking, watching TV and videos is the most preferred free time activity for people of all age groups while time spent yearly on other leisure activities vary based on people’s age. According to the table, young and older people spend more leisure time watching TV programmes and other videos than the people from other age groups. TV watching consumes 1200 hours for teenagers and 1100 hours for elder population. This is the most popular leisure-time activity of people as they spend more time on this activity than others. Socialising with more people is popular among teenagers while with the increasing age, people prefer to socialise with fewer people. Teenagers and young adults like group exercise while it is avoided by people who are above 60 years old. People from 30 to 40 seems like spend around 200 hours per years on individual exercises. Finally, watching movies in a cinema hall comprises 100 leisure hours for teenagers while it kept on decreasing with the increase of their age except for the 70 plus population who spend more time on this activity than 20 to 70 years old people.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use concise time phrase Original: in a year in Someland Suggested revision: per year in Someland Why it matters: The replacement states the table's annual time frame more naturally.
- 2. Describe measured hours Original: most preferred free time activity Suggested revision: most time-consuming leisure activity Why it matters: The table measures hours spent rather than preferences.
- 3. Fix subject agreement Original: time spent yearly on other leisure activities vary Suggested revision: annual time spent on other leisure activities varies Why it matters: The singular head noun “time” requires “varies”.
- 4. Name exact age groups Original: young and older people Suggested revision: teenagers and people aged 70 and over Why it matters: These are the two groups with the highest TV/video figures in the table.
- 5. Use natural preposition Original: the people from other age groups Suggested revision: people in the other age groups Why it matters: People are conventionally described as being in an age group.
- 6. Use accurate collocation Original: TV watching consumes Suggested revision: Watching TV/videos accounts for Why it matters: Time is allocated to an activity; the activity does not consume a numerical total by itself.
- 7. Format the figure Original: 1200 hours Suggested revision: 1,200 hours Why it matters: The comma matches standard formatting for this four-digit value.
- 8. Identify the group Original: elder population Suggested revision: people aged 70 and over Why it matters: The 1,100-hour value belongs specifically to the 70+ group.
- 9. Match table category Original: Socialising with more people Suggested revision: Socialising with four or more people Why it matters: The table defines the larger-group category as four or more people.
- 10. Fix age expression Original: with the increasing age Suggested revision: as age increases Why it matters: This clause expresses the relationship between age and the trend grammatically.
- 11. Match group definition Original: socialise with fewer people Suggested revision: socialise in groups of four or fewer Why it matters: This wording reflects the table's smaller-group category precisely.
- 12. Report time, not preference Original: like group exercise Suggested revision: spend time on group exercise Why it matters: The visual reports hours spent and does not directly measure liking.
Suggested Rewrites
- in a year in Someland per year in Someland
- most preferred free time activity most time-consuming leisure activity
- time spent yearly on other leisure activities vary annual time spent on other leisure activities varies
- young and older people teenagers and people aged 70 and over
- the people from other age groups people in the other age groups
- TV watching consumes Watching TV/videos accounts for
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response gives a clear overview and selects the table’s strongest patterns, including the dominance of television, age-related socialising preferences, and the decline in group exercise. Its main weakness is that some comparisons are expressed too generally and several awkward grammatical forms reduce precision. Prioritise adding a few exact cross-age comparisons for socialising and exercise, then proofread agreement, plurals, and natural data-reporting phrases.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
A clear overview and mostly accurate selection cover the dominant activity and several important age-related contrasts, although some trends lack supporting figures.
Support the socialising and exercise patterns with exact values from contrasting age groups, not only broad descriptions.
Coherence and Cohesion
The report moves logically by leisure activity and uses contrast effectively, but dense paragraphing and some repetitive explanation limit clarity.
Separate the overview from two grouped detail paragraphs, organising activities by those that decline with age and those that vary.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is sufficiently varied for describing preferences and changes, though expressions such as TV watching consumes hours and comprises leisure hours are unnatural.
Use precise combinations such as people spent, accounted for, declined with age, and rose again among the oldest group.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex comparisons are attempted and meaning remains clear, but agreement, infinitive, plural, and tense errors recur.
Correct forms such as time varies, people in their thirties and forties spend, hours per year, and cinema time decreased.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The table below gives data on the hour of leisure time per year for people in Someland.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.