Some people think that environmental problems are too big for individuals to solve, while others think that the government cannot solve these environmental problems unless individuals make some action. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Sample Response
Environmental problems have dramatically increased over the last few years. A rapid increase in population and other problems such as pollution, deforestation, global warming etc. have further exacerbated the situation. Some people argue that these problems are too large to be addressed by an individual being. I believe that it is a mutual responsibility of both individuals and countries to take pragmatic measures for its solution. Overpopulation is one of the pivotal reasons that have detrimental effects on the environment. Increase in population demand more food resources, living space and other basic amenities of life. For instance, for the sake of accommodation many natural parks and forests have been wiped out to fulfil the need for living space. This has lead to severe consequences that could damage both the people and the environment. Individual efforts can contribute a lot to address the pressing environmental problems. Steps taken at an individual level can be an effective solution for the world. For instance, if the government of a country takes initiatives to reduce the rubbish produced daily, can’t do much. However, if the citizens take effort from their personal level, rubbish production could be controlled tremendously. Similarly, if the administration of a country starts planting trees, the effort would not go further without the collaboration of the individuals. Pollution is also a great menace to the environment. It is not only the reason of environmental problems but also has a dire effect on people. Factories operating within cities emit dangerous smoke and other harmful toxins, which are enormously affecting people health and making them more susceptible to diseases. Furthermore, pollution also contributes to global warming. There has been a drastic increase in temperature around the globe, which in turn, melts glaciers across the world. These are no longer national issues and all the governments of the world should work together to address this pressing problem. That is why prudent decisions are required from the government level and the ordinary citizens should be encouraged and participate in every way possible to make the world a better place to live in. To sum up, I would like to say that environmental problems should be addressed on a large scale. Everyone has to contribute in order to mitigate its vulnerable effects on the world. Even a little effort by an individual can make a huge difference.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Avoid redundant marker Original: global warming etc. Suggested revision: global warming Why it matters: Such as already marks the examples, so etc. is redundant and disrupts the sentence.
- 2. Use correct noun Original: an individual being Suggested revision: an individual Why it matters: Individual already functions as a noun here, making being unnecessary and unnatural.
- 3. Use precise phrasing Original: mutual responsibility of both individuals and countries Suggested revision: shared responsibility of individuals and governments Why it matters: Shared responsibility is more concise, and governments accurately identifies the public actors discussed.
- 4. Fix pronoun agreement Original: for its solution Suggested revision: to solve them Why it matters: The plural noun problems requires a plural reference, and the infinitive states the purpose clearly.
- 5. Improve logical wording Original: pivotal reasons that have detrimental effects Suggested revision: pivotal factors harming Why it matters: Overpopulation is a factor that causes harm rather than a reason that possesses effects.
- 6. Fix subject agreement Original: Increase in population demand Suggested revision: An increase in population demands Why it matters: The singular countable subject needs an article and the singular verb demands.
- 7. Clarify purpose Original: for the sake of accommodation Suggested revision: to create housing, Why it matters: The revised phrase states the intended purpose naturally and supplies the needed introductory comma.
- 8. Use past participle Original: lead Suggested revision: led Why it matters: The present perfect requires the past participle led.
- 9. Use concise wording Original: damage both the people and the environment Suggested revision: harm both people and the environment Why it matters: Harm is more concise, and people does not require the definite article in this general reference.
- 10. Fix verb pattern Original: contribute a lot to address Suggested revision: contribute greatly to addressing Why it matters: The preposition to in contribute to must be followed by a noun or gerund.
- 11. Correct collocation Original: take effort from their personal level Suggested revision: make an effort at the individual level Why it matters: English uses make an effort, and at the individual level is the natural prepositional phrase.
- 12. Use precise collocation Original: controlled tremendously Suggested revision: greatly reduced Why it matters: Rubbish production is naturally reduced rather than controlled tremendously.
Suggested Rewrites
- global warming etc. global warming
- an individual being an individual
- mutual responsibility of both individuals and countries shared responsibility of individuals and governments
- for its solution to solve them
- pivotal reasons that have detrimental effects pivotal factors harming
- Increase in population demand An increase in population demands
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response presents a clear collaborative position and uses a wide range of topic vocabulary to explain why citizens and governments must act together. Its main limitation is uneven task coverage: the view that problems are beyond individuals receives little direct development, while the absence of paragraphing weakens progression and several grammar and collocation errors reduce precision. Prioritise a balanced two-view structure with distinct paragraphs and carefully checked sentence patterns.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The writer gives a clear opinion and relevant reasons for joint action, but the opposing view is only briefly acknowledged and several environmental causes distract from the debate.
Develop a distinct argument explaining why individuals may be unable to solve large-scale problems before evaluating it against the case for collective action.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument follows a broadly understandable sequence, but presenting the entire response as one paragraph obscures the stages of the discussion.
Divide the essay into an introduction, separate body paragraphs for each view, and a conclusion, with each paragraph centred on one controlling idea.
Lexical Resource
A fairly wide range of environmental vocabulary conveys the main ideas, although recurring collocation and word-form problems reduce precision.
Use more natural combinations such as 'individual action,' 'make an effort,' and 'harmful effects,' and avoid intensifiers that do not fit the noun or verb.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts varied complex structures, but agreement, article, possessive, and clause-construction errors recur across the essay.
Proofread each complex sentence for a complete main clause and correct subject-verb agreement before adding subordinate details.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think that environmental problems are too big for individuals to solve, while others think that the government cannot solve these environmental problems unless individuals make some action. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.