Some people believe that sport has an important role in society. Others, however, feel that it is nothing more than a leisure activity for some people. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
Nowadays, sports are gaining huge popularity, and many view sports as an important tool for an ideal society. However, some people argue that sport is merely a leisure activity and fails to contribute to society in a positive way. In this essay, I will discuss both perspectives and opine that sports and games indeed play essential roles in society.
The group of people who consider sports as just leisure activity base their opinion that sports fail to address any pressing social issue. They keep on arguing that young people take up sports to make a career, and others to spend their free time with friends, family and neighbours. No doubt they enjoy the activity but do not learn to positively contribute to society in the way they would have learned if they took volunteer activities like helping homeless people and cleaning the neighbourhood. This emphasises the shortcomings of sports as a tool to help society.
On the contrary, the proponents of the view that sports have an important role in society claim that sports encourage people to remain active and healthy. A healthy generation reduces the financial burden on the government by lowering healthcare costs. Thus the medical resources and funding could be better utilised to treat the more vulnerable elderly people and medical researces. This, in a way, has a huge positive impact on society. Moreover, sports help young people cultivate good habits. With the increasing accessibility of technology, many young people tend to engage in sedentary activities such as playing computer games and chatting on social media. By participating in different sports, instead of spending time at home playing video games, children can improve their social interactions with peers and learn essential skills like teamwork and time management.
In conclusion, all things considered, although some people believe that sport is simply a leisure activity, I believe that sport plays an important role in society because it brings significant benefits to society.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use a natural popularity phrase Original: gaining huge popularity Suggested revision: becoming increasingly popular Why it matters: The replacement is a more natural and measured collocation for a growing trend.
- 2. Use a natural reporting verb Original: opine Suggested revision: argue Why it matters: Argue that is more natural in an academic discussion of competing views.
- 3. Fix the consider pattern Original: consider sports as Suggested revision: consider sports Why it matters: Consider takes a direct object complement without as in this structure.
- 4. Add the singular article Original: just leisure activity Suggested revision: just a leisure activity Why it matters: The singular count noun activity requires an article.
- 5. Use base with on Original: base their opinion that Suggested revision: base their opinion on the claim that Why it matters: Base an opinion on is the correct verb-and-preposition construction.
- 6. Use concise reporting wording Original: keep on arguing Suggested revision: also argue Why it matters: The replacement avoids an unnecessarily repetitive phrasal verb.
- 7. Fix the career collocation Original: take up sports to make a career Suggested revision: take up sport to pursue a career Why it matters: Pursue a career is the natural collocation for seeking professional work.
- 8. Supply the parallel verb Original: and others to spend Suggested revision: while others do so to spend Why it matters: The added verb makes the second reason parallel with the first clause.
- 9. Punctuate the introductory phrase Original: No doubt they enjoy Suggested revision: No doubt, they enjoy Why it matters: A comma should separate the introductory phrase No doubt from the main clause.
- 10. Use the volunteer collocation Original: took volunteer activities Suggested revision: participated in volunteer activities Why it matters: People participate in volunteer activities rather than take them.
- 11. Use a contrast transition Original: On the contrary Suggested revision: By contrast Why it matters: By contrast introduces the alternative view without implying that the preceding statement is factually false.
- 12. Add the transition comma Original: Thus the medical resources Suggested revision: Thus, medical resources Why it matters: The sentence adverb Thus should be followed by a comma, and the general plural needs no article.
Suggested Rewrites
- gaining huge popularity becoming increasingly popular
- opine argue
- consider sports as consider sports
- just leisure activity just a leisure activity
- base their opinion that base their opinion on the claim that
- keep on arguing also argue
Why this response received Band 7.5
The essay covers both views and gives a clear opinion, with its strongest development linking sport to health, public spending and children's social skills. The main limitation is that the leisure-only view is presented somewhat narrowly and several phrases or repeated words reduce precision. Explain more fairly why leisure can still be valuable without constituting a major social role, then refine collocations and proofread spelling.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both positions are discussed and the writer's view is clear, with the social benefits of sport developed more convincingly than the opposing view.
Develop the leisure perspective beyond its failure to solve social problems by considering recreation, enjoyment and personal well-being.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has clear paragraph functions and a logical movement from the opposing claim to the writer's stronger case and conclusion.
Make the conclusion more informative by summarising the two principal social benefits instead of repeating that sport benefits society.
Lexical Resource
A sufficiently flexible topic-specific range is used, though repetition and a few inaccurate collocations or spelling errors remain.
Use natural phrases such as "take part in volunteer activities" and "fund medical research," and correct "research."
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex sentences are generally well controlled, with occasional article, clause and comparison errors that do not obstruct meaning.
Revise forms such as "sport as merely a leisure activity," "base their opinion on" and "would learn through volunteering."
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people believe that sport has an important role in society. Others, however, feel that it is nothing more than a leisure activity for some people. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.