Many people prefer to spend their holidays staying at home and doing things that they usually can’t do because of a busy schedule. Others, however, prefer to get away from their usual routine and prefer to spend time in a different location in a hotel, camping in the countryside or visiting other cities. Which one according to you is the better way of spending an ideal holiday? What are the benefits of going away on holidays?
Sample Response
Today's fast moving and the competitive world make one very busy in their work. To take a break fromTo relax from their busy working life, people take holidays. Some people feel comfortable with just staying at home, whereas, some want to go away from homego away from their home and stay in the countryside or in a hotel. I will discuss both points in the following paragraphsin the below paragraph.
On the one handOn one hand, some people like to stay at home instead of going out during holidays. This is because they feel more relaxed at home. For going out they should plan in advance. Also, it requires a considerable amount of moneyquite an amount of money for travel, accommodation, food, and so on.travelling, accommodation, food etc. Also, if there is a small kid in the family it is risky to go out, as kids are more sensitive to changes in climateclimate change and unfamiliaroutside food. Also, they feel little insecure from thieves, to leave their home locked. By staying at home, people can spend more time with their family members, which is not normally possible during working days. Furthermore, by staying at home people can do some household workworks together to helptogether, to help their partners.
On the other hand, some feel happier to go out on holidays. Due to the boom in the tourism industry, they can get holiday packages at the best rates. Also, people who travel to the countrysidetravel countryside feel more relaxed due to fresh airweather, compared to the polluted city environment. Besides, they can discover new places and children can learn new things about the places. Also, when they stay away from home and the officethe home and office, they are isolated from routine worries. Furthermore, when family members go out together, this can reduceit will reduce any friction between family membersthe friction between the family members if any. Nowadays, we can see many people seek relief from stresstake treatment for stress by going to the countrysidecountry sides like Madikeri, Coorg, Munnar etc. in holidays.
To sum up, staying away from home during the holidays will not only give physical relief but also givebut also, give mental satisfaction. So, I personally feel during holidays, staying away from home is much better thanbetter compared to staying at home.
Why this response received Band 6.5
Both options are clearly organised and the writer gives an unambiguous preference, with several relevant benefits of travelling away from home. The main weakness is that development is often list-like and supported by assertions rather than fully explained comparisons, while repetitive linking and frequent language errors reduce fluency. Prioritise one or two benefits per paragraph, explain their consequences precisely, and edit recurring article, agreement, preposition, and collocation errors.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response answers both questions, maintains a clear preference for going away, and supplies several relevant benefits, although some ideas receive limited explanation.
Develop fewer benefits more fully by explaining exactly how each one makes travelling away preferable to staying home.
Coherence and Cohesion
The four-paragraph structure and overall progression are clear, but frequent repetition of Also makes connections mechanical and list-like.
Use topic sentences and logical sequencing within paragraphs so relationships between ideas are clear without repeated basic linkers.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is adequate for the topic and includes some useful range, but recurring collocation and word-form problems reduce precision.
Replace awkward combinations such as household works, fresh weather, and take treatment with natural, context-appropriate collocations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The writer attempts a mix of sentence forms and meaning remains clear, although agreement, article, pronoun, and preposition errors recur throughout.
Edit each sentence for subject-verb agreement and article use, then check that pronouns consistently match their nouns.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Many people prefer to spend their holidays staying at home and doing things that they usually can’t do because of a busy schedule. Others, however, prefer to get away from their usual routine and prefer to spend time in a different location in a hotel, camping in the countryside or visiting other cities. Which one according to you is the better way of spending an ideal holiday? What are the benefits of going away on holidays?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.