Some people think that the best way to increase road safety is to increase the minimum legal age for driving cars or riding motorbikes. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Some argue that raising the minimum age at which individuals may legally operate a car or motorcycle is the most effective strategy to improve road safety. To some extent, while I agree that this strategy may reduce the number of traffic accidents, I believe harsher punishments are significantly more effective and are currently in place in several nations.
Admittedly, a higher legal driving age will considerably reducehelp considerably minimize road accidents. The reality is that many roadvehicle accidents may be traced back to reckless driving by young people. Many of these drivers are underage and, as a result, do not yet have the maturity to fully appreciate the severity of the risks they pose when they engage in dangerous behaviours such asdangerous behaviours like speeding or drinking while driving. Increasing the minimum age to drive may ensure that even the youngest drivers are mature enough to drive safely, protecting themselves and others on the road.
On the other hand, I believe this strategy has limited effectivenesssuccess since many young people today still drive vehiclesoperate automobiles without a valid licencewithout proper licensing. Therefore, increasing the severity of the penalties for those who are convicted of driving offencesfound guilty of driving offenses is a more efficient strategy to improve road safetyprotect the safety of roadway traffic. For instance, a person convicted of driving while under the influence of alcohol in Canada may face a prison sentencefaces a possible jail term of up to five years and a ten-year driving bansuspension. These penalties can deterhave the ability to dissuade would-be offenders and reduce offender recidivism.
In conclusion, increasing the legal age to drive may improve road safety; however, I think stricter penalties would have a far greater impact on reducing road accidents.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response gives a clear, nuanced position and develops both the potential value of a higher driving age and the stronger case for tougher penalties with relevant explanation. Its main limitation is occasional awkward or imprecise phrasing, particularly where the argument shifts from unlicensed young drivers to legal-age policy. Refine those logical links and collocations to make an already well-organised argument more exact and convincing.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response fully addresses the extent question with a clear comparative position and well-developed, relevant support for both parts of its view.
Clarify how evidence about already unlicensed drivers supports the claim that raising the legal age would have limited effectiveness.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay is logically sequenced, clearly paragraphled, and uses cohesive devices effectively to develop and contrast its two main arguments.
Make the transition from illegal underage driving to the proposed penalty solution even more explicit for maximum precision.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is wide, flexible, and generally precise, with effective topic-specific choices and only occasional awkward collocations.
Refine phrases such as protect the safety of roadway traffic and has the ability to dissuade into more natural concise wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is used accurately and flexibly, with only minor lapses that do not impede communication.
Simplify the slightly awkward opening concession and continue checking modifier placement in longer sentences.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think that the best way to increase road safety is to increase the minimum legal age for driving cars or riding motorbikes. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.