It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
Some would argue that certain fields, such as sport or music are meant only for naturally talented children, while others believe that it is something which can be learned by anyone. While kids with the aptitude for certain skills are given a head start in life, this essay argues that such skill sets can be mastered by working hard.
On the one hand, children who are gifted with a particular inborn talent often achieve their goal early in their lives. This is because when someone is very good at what they are doing, it usually does not take much effort for them to strive for excellence in that specific area. For instance, there are many talented singers who have already established a successful singing career before they even become teenagers. However, I believe that talent alone does not guarantee success in the long-run, and that a person can only reach the highest level in their profession if they combine their innate ability with hard work.
On the other hand, many people think that anything is achievable in this life through practice and training. That is to say that it may take extra time and energy for an individual with average potential to harness a skill, but success is possible as long as one has the will, determination and the passion to work for it. For example, the world is filled with many star athletes who start off as a mediocre in the beginning, but they challenge and push themselves to their limit, which ultimately help them to attain the greatest version of themselves. I believe this view point is more practical because majority of the people are born average, and hard work beats talent in many cases.
In conclusion, although it is easier for children with extraordinary ability to accomplish their dreams at the beginning of their lives, this essay finds that hard skills, even though time taking to master, can be earned by coaching and experience.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Close the example phrase Original: such as sport or music are Suggested revision: such as sport or music, are Why it matters: A comma is needed after the parenthetical examples before the main verb.
- 2. Fix pronoun agreement Original: it is something which Suggested revision: these are skills that Why it matters: The plural ideas of sport and music cannot be represented clearly by singular it and something.
- 3. Use plural agreement Original: goal Suggested revision: goals Why it matters: The plural subject children is more naturally paired with the plural goals.
- 4. Use noun phrase form Original: in the long-run Suggested revision: in the long run Why it matters: Long run is not hyphenated when used as a noun phrase after a preposition.
- 5. Keep the list parallel Original: and the passion Suggested revision: and passion Why it matters: The repeated article disrupts the parallel list of will, determination, and passion.
- 6. Fix adjective use Original: as a mediocre Suggested revision: at a mediocre level Why it matters: Mediocre is an adjective and cannot function as a countable noun after a.
- 7. Match the plural subject Original: limit Suggested revision: limits Why it matters: Each of the plural athletes has a personal limit, so the plural is more natural.
- 8. Fix verb agreement Original: help Suggested revision: helps Why it matters: Which refers to the preceding action as a whole and therefore takes a singular verb.
- 9. Use natural expression Original: attain the greatest version of themselves Suggested revision: reach their full potential Why it matters: The replacement expresses maximum achievement naturally and concisely.
- 10. Add the article Original: because majority of the people Suggested revision: because the majority of people Why it matters: Majority requires the definite article here, while people does not need one.
- 11. Avoid wrong term Original: hard Suggested revision: these Why it matters: Hard skills refers to technical competencies and does not accurately cover musical and sporting ability here.
- 12. Use standard adjective Original: time taking to master Suggested revision: time-consuming to master Why it matters: Time-consuming is the standard adjective for something that requires substantial time.
Suggested Rewrites
- such as sport or music are such as sport or music, are
- it is something which these are skills that
- goal goals
- in the long-run in the long run
- and the passion and passion
- as a mediocre at a mediocre level
Why this response received Band 7.0
The essay clearly discusses both perspectives, sustains its preference for effort and training, and develops each side through relevant explanation and examples. Logical paragraphing and a broad vocabulary are strengths, while recurring imprecise collocations and grammatical agreement errors reduce polish. The highest-priority improvement is to refine word choice and proofread complex sentences so that strong ideas are expressed with consistently natural, accurate language.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are addressed with a clear opinion throughout, and the main ideas are relevant and developed, though the examples and final phrasing are somewhat general.
Develop the examples with more specific causal detail and ensure the conclusion precisely restates the claim about trainable abilities.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is logically organised into clear paragraphs, with effective progression and generally appropriate linking despite some formulaic transitions and loose references.
Use more precise referencing between sentences and vary transitions so that connections arise naturally from the reasoning.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is sufficiently flexible and includes effective less common items, although several collocations and forms are imprecise or unnatural.
Refine combinations such as start off as a mediocre and greatest version of themselves, and check compound forms such as viewpoint.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of complex structures is used successfully, but recurring agreement, article, number, and pronoun errors prevent consistently accurate control.
Proofread complex sentences for subject-verb agreement, article use, and singular-plural consistency before finalising the response.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.