Demand for food is increasing worldwide. What are the causes? What measures could the international community take in order to improve the situation?
Sample Response
While the agricultural industryWhile agricultural industry has improved significantly since the Industrial Revolution, the pressure on the global food supplypressure on food supply in the world poses significant challengesis not without its challenges. It seems thatIt looks to me that this problem can be attributed to the ever-growing population alongside underdevelopment in the farming industryrelative to the underdevelopment in farming industry, and accordingly I will recommend some measuresmeasure to tackle the problem.
A major factorOne of the most frequently mentioned factors leading to concern about food shortagesthe apprehension about food shortage is the rapidly growing populationthe accelerating population on the planet. The past century has witnessed an almost threefold increase in the world population to over 7 billion, which creates enormous demand for foodwhich entails enormous demand for food supply. Unfortunately, agricultural productionthe agricultural production has fallen behindhas been left behind due to rapidrelentless urbanization worldwide, which acts as the major culprit that constantly encroaches on farmland the world over. To complicate matters even more, another concomitant consequence of urbancity prosperity is the migration of the younger generationthe migration of younger generation from rural areas to cities, which exacerbates the shortage of labour needed in agricultureexacerbates insufficient labor force needed by agriculture.
However, the aforementioned problems can be tackled fromcan be tackled with from both administrative and technological perspectives. Firstly, governments can legislate against further encroachment on agricultural land, thus preserving the land for farming purposes. Adding to the point is to apply new technology to increase crop production, whether these be farm machinery, organic fertilizers, or pesticides. Not to be left behind is the education at the importance of agriculture among youngsters, thus curbing the brain drain from village to cities.
I would therefore conclude thatI would conclude therefore, the imbalance between food demand and supply is caused by the population explosion and the trend towards urbanization; both issues can be properly addressed through a combination of legislationwith the combination of legislation, technology and education.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response identifies relevant causes and proposes a coherent set of legislative, technological, and educational measures, with a clear overall progression. Its main weakness is that the solutions are framed chiefly as actions by individual governments, while the task specifically asks what the international community could do, and several grammatical and collocational errors recur. Prioritising coordinated international measures and editing noun phrases and prepositions would improve both task precision and language control.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Relevant causes and solutions are developed, but the requested international-community perspective is only partially addressed.
Explain how international bodies or cooperating countries could fund technology, protect farmland, or coordinate agricultural education across borders.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay progresses clearly from causes to measures and uses paragraphing effectively, despite some mechanical sentence openings.
Replace formulaic transitions such as Adding to the point and Not to be left behind with direct topic-led connections.
Lexical Resource
The response shows a broad topic-specific vocabulary, but several awkward collocations reduce precision and naturalness.
Revise combinations such as accelerating population, city prosperity, and education at the importance of agriculture into standard academic phrasing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex structures are attempted frequently, but recurring article, agreement, number, and preposition errors weaken control.
Proofread noun phrases and verb patterns carefully, including the agricultural industry, some measures, tackled from, and migration from villages to cities.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Demand for food is increasing worldwide. What are the causes? What measures could the international community take in order to improve the situation?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.