People in many countries are spending more and more time away from their families. Why is this happening? How does this affect people and their families?
Sample Response
The trend of individuals spending significantly less time with their families has become increasingly widespreadwidespread and pronounced. I believe that this is mainly driven by career and academic endeavours and it has significant negative repercussions for both families and individuals.
One of the primary reasons for this phenomenon is the demanding and competitive nature of our modern professional lives. Consequently, peopleDue to this people find themselves working longer hours to satisfylonger hours, to satisfy the requirements of their superiors and get ahead in their careers. In addition, the today's technologytechnology of today has made it possible to stay connected around the clockconnected 24/7, and this often blurs the lines between work and personal life, leading to extended work hours. The ease of international travel for work and study has also led more people to spendsignificantly contributed to more people spending less time with their families. With the rise of global job and study opportunities, many relocate to different countries. For instance, the pursuit of higher education often requires studying in distant locations, causing young adults to spend years away from their families.
This increasing separation from family has profound negative effects on both individuals and families. On a personal level, a prolonged absence from one's familya long absence from family can lead to feelings of isolation and stress, especially for young students who have never been away from home before. In terms of how this trend affects families, especially those with young children, lack of contact with a family member can affect emotional bondsimpact emotional bonding and family dynamics. In the long run, thisIn the long run this could causecould potentially cause a sense of detachment between certain family members that could be difficult to repair.
In conclusion, the growing trend of spending time away from family is driven mainly bydriven by mainly professional and educational commitments. While this trend offers opportunities for professional growth and development, it challenges the traditional family structure and the emotional well-being of those separated from their loved ones.
Overall, the essay is a good example of a Band 8 work.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response answers both questions directly, develops several convincing causes and effects, and maintains a clear progression throughout. Its main weakness is minor imprecision in a few sentences and the unnecessary closing comment that evaluates the essay itself rather than advancing the argument. The best improvement is to remove that meta-comment and polish sentence-level phrasing and punctuation so the otherwise mature discussion remains consistently controlled.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both the reasons for family separation and its effects are addressed directly with relevant, well-developed explanations and examples.
Remove the final self-evaluative sentence and use that space, if needed, to sharpen one family-level consequence.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is logically sequenced into focused paragraphs, and cohesive devices guide the reader smoothly with minimal strain.
Integrate the conclusion as the true ending rather than adding a detached meta-comment afterward.
Lexical Resource
A wide and precise vocabulary supports nuanced discussion, with only occasional slightly unnatural phrasing.
Polish collocations such as impact emotional bonding and driven by mainly to make expression consistently idiomatic.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is used accurately, with only minor punctuation and word-order slips.
Review introductory commas and adverb placement to eliminate the few remaining lapses in otherwise strong control.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
People in many countries are spending more and more time away from their families. Why is this happening? How does this affect people and their families?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.