In the modern world, it is no longer necessary to use animals as food or other products, such as medicines and clothing. Do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
The debate over using animals for foodThe argument over the use of animals to provide food, medicine, and clothing has been ongoing for years. Some people consider the killing of animals to produce food and other products to be unnecessary. I agreeIn my view, I agree with this idea and will explain the reasons for this positionwill discuss several compelling reasons in this essay.
These days, we are faced with many public health challenges regarding poor health conditions, including cancer and heart disease, caused by excessive consumption of meat on a regular and long-term basis. Delete(1) Experts are calling for people to change their dietsa change in human diets so that people can enjoy better health. Fortunately, many alternative meat products are available on the market. In fact, vegetarian diets are becoming increasingly popularbeing favored by a growing number of people and can provide similar nutritional valuethe same amount of nutrients for consumers. In particular, mushrooms and tofu contain high levels of protein, a nutrient often associated with meata kind of nutrient presumably only found in meat, and can therefore be used as meat substitutesused as a substitute. Delete(2)
Furthermore, medical experiments on animals and medicines manufactured from animals’ body parts receive little endorsement todayreceived little endorsement in the past. Nowadays, herbs and many other types of plant-based medicines, such as ginseng, can cure many diseases, prolong human life expectancy, and aid medical practitioners in the treatment of many illnesses. In additionMore seriously, thousands of wild animals, such as tigers and minks, are killed each year, and their fur is used to producewith their fur taken to produce coats and accessories for the fashion industry. Delete(3) There are now similar products made from plants and artificial materials that can fulfill our needs. Animals do not have to suffer for our needs anymore.
In conclusion, I think that our needs and desires do not justify the suffering of animals, and animal products areanimals and animal products are no longer necessary. We can choose alternative sources of nourishment, medicine and clothinga different source of nourishment, medicine and clothing without harming wild animalswithout any toll on wild animals.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response presents a clear position and supports it across food, medicine, and clothing, with logical paragraphing and generally varied language. Its main limitation is that several claims are broad or weakly substantiated, particularly those about health and plant-based medicines, while some phrasing is awkward. The highest-priority improvement is to develop each reason with more precise evidence and careful qualification.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position is maintained and all three product areas are addressed with relevant reasons, though some support is generalized or questionable.
Develop each central claim with a specific, credible explanation and qualify sweeping statements about health and medicine.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay progresses logically through distinct reasons, with clear paragraphing and generally effective linking.
Remove the unexplained numbered markers and use subtler connections within paragraphs to make progression feel less mechanical.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is sufficiently varied and topic-appropriate, although several collocations and claims lack precision.
Choose more exact expressions for health effects, nutritional equivalence, and alternatives to animal products.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of complex sentence structures is used with generally strong control and only occasional non-impeding problems.
Refine article, preposition, and clause choices in longer sentences to improve naturalness and precision.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
In the modern world, it is no longer necessary to use animals as food or other products, such as medicines and clothing. Do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.