Some people think that older school children should learn a wide range of subjects and develop knowledge. But other people think that they should only learn a small number of subjects in detail. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
School curriculum planning differs according to the teaching goal. Some choose to provide general education covering a wide range of subjects while in others, older school children are offered fewer courses in the specific field. From my perspective, the former idea is more reasonable.
Admittedly, specializing in specific subjects enables school students to lay a solidconcrete foundation in their chosen fieldfiled. Since they can put endeavors and devote themselves to certain courses, chances are that a deep understanding can be obtained and accordingly more contributions made with sufficient expertise. This educational approachThe education pattern allows older school children to build a foundationreach a basis and gain a competitive edge in further studiesstudy.
However, older school children are too immature to choose a focused future pathdecide the focused future path, especially when the demands in the job market are constantly changing. Therefore, from my point of view, exposure to a wide range of subjects can equip students with the adaptability needed in modern societythe adaptability in modern society. For one thing, this curriculumthe course setting offers curious school studentsschool students, those full of curiosity, opportunities to explore possibilities. Considering that students can seize the chance to acquire knowledge in different fields, they are more likely to discover and develop their genuine interestsfoster their real interests, which means their decisions about future directionstheir decision on future directions can be more rational and thus leadleading to bright future prospects. For another, learning various subjects equipsprepares older school children with multiple perspectives from which to view the worldmultiple perspectives to perceive the world. As each course represents a unique way of thinkingthe unique thinking mode, after receiving a well-rounded education and exploring different fields, students can develop intostudents can be cultivated to become well-rounded individualscomprehensive talents from an early age, who are particularly valued in a competitive environmentwhich are especially demanded in the fierce competition.
Given the arguments above, although specialization in a small number of subjects clarifies the direction for older school children, I suppose developing knowledge in an extensive range should be given due priority.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response clearly discusses both educational approaches and sustains a reasoned preference for a broad curriculum, with the strongest development appearing in the exploration and adaptability arguments. Its main limitation is the recurring use of unnatural collocations and several grammatical mismatches that make otherwise sophisticated ideas less precise. Prioritize choosing natural word combinations and tightening complex sentence endings so the argument reads more fluently and accurately.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are addressed and the writer's preference is clear, though the case for specialization is less fully developed than the case for breadth.
Extend the specialization argument with a more concrete explanation or example before weighing it against the preferred view.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has clear paragraphing and logical progression, although the long third paragraph carries several distinct ideas in a dense sequence.
Separate the exploration and multiple-perspectives arguments into more balanced units with concise internal transitions.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary shows good range, but recurring collocational problems such as 'put endeavors,' 'reach a basis,' and 'comprehensive talents' reduce precision.
Use established academic collocations and verify word forms rather than relying on ambitious combinations that sound unnatural.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A variety of complex structures is attempted successfully, but errors in coordination, reference, and agreement recur across the response.
Proofread complex sentences for parallel verb forms and clear relative-clause reference, especially around 'thus leading' and 'which are.'
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think that older school children should learn a wide range of subjects and develop knowledge. But other people think that they should only learn a small number of subjects in detail. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.