Some people think that work is the most important thing of people’s life. Without the success of career, life become meaningless. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
While it is argued that a distinguished career is regarded as the most important aspectthe most pivotal thing in a person’s life, I firmly believe that there are other factors which can make people’s lives meaningful.
On the one hand, it cannot be denied that workworking plays a vital role in one’s life. According to an annual survey carried out in the UK, a person spends about 25 toor 30 years at workon their occupation; hence, working time, hence working time accounts for nearly one-third of a person’s life. So if people obtain a worthwhile career that flourishesjob that blooms, their lifelifetime is likely to be personally fulfillingfilled with human well-being. Additionally, the experiencestate of being stuck in an unsuccessful career might have a damaging effectdestructive influence on people’s moralespirits. Those with unstable careersturbulent career or experiencesexperience of job dissatisfaction could suffer from chronic stress and discouragement, which affectaffects their mental and physical health adversely, as well as causing them to developmaking them have a negative outlook on their lives.
On the other hand, I contend that there are more desirable goals than a successful careerrather than a successful career to attain in their livesour life. A vast majority of people perceive a meaningful life as helping others living in poor and underprivileged conditions. They spend most of their lives devoted to charity workmost of their lifetime devoting to charity work. Furthermore, there are other people who do not enter the workforce but seem satisfied with their lives. In some Asian countries such as Japan, dual-income families are not as common as they are in Western nationsnot as common as that in Western nations. Take Japan as a telling example; men are often the breadwinners while women stay at home, take over the responsibilities related to household chores and childcare, which make them feel content as a well-established tradition.
In conclusion, while undoubtedly people can benefit enormously from a glittering career, there are still a lot of significant factors which might enable them to lead a happy life.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response presents a clear position, organises contrasting ideas logically, and supports them with relevant explanations and examples. Its main limitation is the recurring use of awkward or inaccurate collocations and several grammatical slips, although meaning remains clear. The highest-priority improvement is to express the supporting ideas in more natural, precise language while checking agreement and clause structure.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response directly addresses the extent question with a clear position and develops relevant reasons on both the value of work and alternative sources of meaning.
Develop the alternative goals with more specific, carefully reasoned evidence and avoid broad cultural generalisations.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay progresses logically through a clear introduction, two focused body paragraphs, and a consistent conclusion, with generally effective linking.
Make transitions within paragraphs less formulaic and clarify a few long sentence relationships so each supporting point follows more smoothly.
Lexical Resource
A broad vocabulary conveys nuanced ideas, but recurring unnatural combinations such as descriptions of careers and well-being reduce precision.
Prioritise natural collocations and simpler precise wording, especially when describing career success, dissatisfaction, and personal fulfilment.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied complex structures successfully, though agreement, article, complementation, and relative-clause errors recur without seriously obscuring meaning.
Proofread complex sentences for subject-verb agreement, article use, and verb patterns such as those following helping and devoting.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think that work is the most important thing of people’s life. Without the success of career, life become meaningless. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.