Some people think that the government should strictly control the supply of fresh water, as it is a limited resource, while others it should not be regulated. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.
Sample Response
Many believe that it is crucial for governments to oversee public supplies of fresh water. In my opinion, this is an advisable strategy, thoughstrategy though there are inherentnatural risks that must be taken into consideration.
The most significant drawbacks ofto this proposal are the possibilities of government malfeasance and incompetence. Governments are notoriously bureaucratic organizations that often waste time and money while doing little to advancewhile not greatly furthering the interests of the general public. A pertinent example of this would be the lengthy litigation battles concerning the cleanup of polluted reservoirs in many democratic nations. By the time any progress is made, the harm tofor some residents may already be irreversible. There is the chance that the government is corrupt. It is common for both elected and unelected officials to be vulnerable to bribery that results in prioritizing corporate and private interests over ordinary citizensabove average citizens.
Nonetheless, government control of fresh water supplies is the best guarantee of public safety. Today, in many arid nations, such as those in sub-Saharan Africathose near Sub-Saharan Africa, finding fresh water is a massive challenge. Conflicts over limited water resources often contribute to political instability. In an ideal world, a just government could ensure water is equally and fairly distributed. Moreover, there are potential safety concerns. Water can easily be contaminated by industrial activitiesfactors including rainwater pollution, landfill seepage, and new procedures like fracking. If governments regulate water with impartially and independentlydisinterested autonomy, they will be able to protect the general public from the excesses of corporate recklessness.
In conclusion, despite the risk that governments will mismanage water suppliespotential that governments will poorly manage water supplies, they are still the best protectors of public health and safety. This is why the supervision of water authorities is also key.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response’s strongest aspect is its decisive position supported by a coherent discussion of both governmental risks and public-safety benefits. Its main limitation is imprecision in several examples and expressions, including the geographical reference to Sub-Saharan Africa and awkward phrases such as “disinterested autonomy.” The highest-priority improvement is to use more exact evidence and natural collocations so that the otherwise sophisticated argument remains consistently credible and clear.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both sides are discussed and the writer’s preference for government control is clear, relevant, and substantially developed.
Make the supporting examples more precise and explicitly connect each one to strict regulation of a limited supply.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay progresses clearly from the risks of state control to its benefits, with effective paragraphing and cohesive relationships.
Strengthen the transition within the pro-regulation paragraph by linking scarcity, distribution, and contamination as one developing line of reasoning.
Lexical Resource
The response demonstrates broad topic vocabulary, though several ambitious collocations are awkward or semantically imprecise.
Replace phrases such as “natural risks,” “harm for,” and “disinterested autonomy” with simpler, more idiomatic alternatives.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is handled accurately, with only rare issues and consistently clear meaning.
Continue refining clause economy so that dense sentences remain natural as well as grammatically controlled.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think that the government should strictly control the supply of fresh water, as it is a limited resource, while others it should not be regulated. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.