International travel sometimes makes people prejudiced rather than broad minded. What may be the reasons for this? What can people do to improve their understanding of the countries they visit?
Sample Response
International travel is regarded as one of the most effective waysfinest ways of broadening one’s outlook by understanding the diversity of placesdiversity of different places, their peoples, cultures and lifestylesthe people, their culture and lifestyle. On the downside, international travel has also led tourists to become prejudiced and unreceptivebiased and cold instead of open-minded and understandingreceptive and indulgent.
One of the primary causes ofaiding this unwanted outcome is that what is considered sacred in one place may not hold any value for touristsfor the tourists. In Arab countries, for instance, women are required to wear a burka or unrevealing clothes, and Westernwestern women, not realizing the importance of being fully clad, may question whymay develop an aversion as to why women in these countries are treated the way they are. And vice versavisa-versa, a tourist hailing from a conservativereserved background may not identify with the western cultureand feel appalled, and feel appalled by the lifestyle of people there because of limited prior knowledgethrough not knowing better. Research prior to the trip can resolve this, or if there is a tour guide or organizer, they must take it upon themselves to educate the tourists about the local values and culture in a way that they understand and empathise rather than look down upon it.
Stereotyping is another significant cause of prejudice among tourists. The source of stereotyping is the media’s portrayal ofmedia portrayal of certain countries, places and people, whichpeople which is why tourists have preconceived negative opinions about those countries when they arrivethese places when they arrive. Without really getting to know the local people, a trip may just reinforceaccentuate these views. Awareness is the only cure to break the stereotypes and for this interaction amongst the local people and the tourists must be rallied by encouraging home stays so that the differences between reality and media portrayal can come to the surface.
In conclusion, international tourism does have its problems which can lead to prejudiced views. However, targeted effortsefforts in the right direction can overcome them.
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response addresses both questions directly and develops two relevant causes alongside practical remedies, with a clear overall progression. Its main limitation is imprecise and occasionally awkward language, especially in descriptions of cultural difference, which sometimes weakens clarity and tone. The highest-priority improvement is to express the examples in more neutral, precise language and tighten the longer sentences so each cause-and-solution relationship is immediately clear.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both the reasons for prejudice and ways to improve understanding are fully addressed through relevant, extended explanations and examples.
Use more carefully qualified examples to avoid broad cultural generalisations while retaining the same depth of development.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is logically organised around two cause-and-solution sequences, although some long sentences make the internal progression less smooth.
Separate the densest explanatory sentences and signal each proposed remedy more directly after its corresponding cause.
Lexical Resource
The response shows sufficient range for the topic, but several choices are inaccurate or awkward, including ‘indulgent,’ ‘causes aiding,’ and ‘must be rallied.’
Prioritise idiomatic, neutral wording for cultural attitudes and check collocations rather than selecting unusually formal alternatives.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of complex structures is used with generally clear meaning, despite occasional agreement, punctuation, and sentence-control lapses.
Revise long multi-clause sentences for agreement and clause boundaries, especially where examples shift between singular and plural subjects.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
International travel sometimes makes people prejudiced rather than broad minded. What may be the reasons for this? What can people do to improve their understanding of the countries they visit?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.