In many countries today there is insufficient respect to old people. What are the reasons? What problems might it bring to the society?
Sample Response
It is widely observed thatIt is irrefutable that because of advancements in science and technology, we have a greying society today. These demographic changes have raised the concern thatbrought up the topic that there is less respect for the elderly whose numbers are now growingwho are now in great numbers. In this essay I intend to delve into the causes and effects of this trend.
There are many reasons for the lack of respectreasons for lack of respect to the aged. In the workforce, creative and energetic young people who are able to work under a lot of pressure are preferred. In today's technology-driven worldIn the techno-savvy world of today, the elderly feel out of place. Many are no longer earningThey are not earning and so younger people hold the reinsthe youth hold the reins of the economy. Secondly, the old have problems adapting to ever-changing lifestyles and lag behind the times and so receive insufficient respect. The elderly are isolated from wider changeslike a frog in the well and want younger family memberstheir young ones to follow their professions. The youth, however, want to walk on the un-trodden path and find new avenues for themselves. Furthermore, the elderly suffer health problems such as hypertension, diabetes and arthritis, which make them physically weak, which can cause others to treat them with less respectphysically weak and so they lack respect.
Another majorbig reason for the elderly receiving less respect is the fact that they find it very difficult to accept changedifficult to let go. The young are part of a global culturebelong to the global culture and their older relatives constantly nagtheir elderly constantly nag and criticize them for their ways. This is not viewed favourablynot taken in the good light by the youngsters and they start ignoring them. The young also live in a 24/7 societybelong to a 24/7 society where competition is very stiff and as a result find it difficult to make timefind it irritating and frustrating to find time to care for and respect their older relativescare and respect their elderly.
Less respect to the elderly has already caused many problems in these countries. The most noticeable is that people are indifferent to each other, and individuals tend to feel agitated, worrying about their own lives in old ageworrying about their own old life in the future. As a result, the whole society is not as harmonious and vigorous as the ones where senior citizens are treated with courtesy and respect. This situation has also led to a mushroom growth of old-age homes in the cities.
To sum up, it is our duty to respect the old people and the youth should not forget that they will also grow old one daywill too age one day. But, the elderly should also learn to keep-up with the times and be flexible with their youth.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response presents a broad, clearly organised range of causes and maintains a relevant focus throughout. Its main limitation is that the social consequences receive much less development than the causes, while several claims are asserted through loose generalisations. The highest-priority improvement is to develop two or three consequences with specific causal explanation and realistic illustration, while replacing awkward expressions with more natural phrasing.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses both questions and offers numerous relevant causes, but its discussion of resulting social problems is comparatively brief and general.
Develop each major consequence through a clear causal chain and a concrete example instead of adding further undeveloped causes.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through well-defined paragraphs, although some within-paragraph links are repetitive and a few claims follow one another rather loosely.
Use fewer mechanical sequencing expressions and make the logical relationship between each cause and its explanation more explicit.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is varied and often effective, but several collocations and idiomatic choices sound awkward or imprecise.
Prioritise natural combinations such as respect for the elderly and viewed unfavourably, and avoid forced idioms where direct wording is clearer.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A good range of complex structures is generally controlled, with errors remaining noticeable but rarely affecting clarity.
Improve accuracy in prepositions, article use, and clause construction while retaining the current variety of sentence forms.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In many countries today there is insufficient respect to old people. What are the reasons? What problems might it bring to the society?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.