Some people spend most of their lives living close to where they were born. What might be the reasons for this? What are the advantages and disadvantages?
Sample Response
In the modern world, many peoplewe see that many people migrate to faraway places, but forbut, for most of historymost parts of history, people mostly chose to live close to places where they were born and bred. There could be many reasons for this, and living close to one's birthplace has both advantagesit has both advantages and disadvantages that this essay will examinethat this essay will deal with.
While there could be many reasons behind people's desire to live close to their birthplace, the main reason is that it offers them a sense ofa certain sense of security and comfort in their effort to survive insurvive, in an otherwise unfamiliar environmentunknown world that is full of prejudiceprejudiced thoughts, suspicion, hatred and animosity. People inherit property and lands where their ancestors lived, and this is another reason so many people feel connected to their birthplace where they know people and the culture to live as an integral part of society.
Now, while this sense of security and comfort in itself is an advantage of living close to someone’s birthplace in a broader and more abstract sensein a more broad and abstract sense, a more tangible benefit is the opportunitysome of its more tangible benefits may include the opportunity to live close to the people we lovethe people, we love and care for. Another advantage is that byAnother advantage is that because of living close to our place of origina place of our origin for a long time, we feel that we know its air, water and landscape so well that we can rely on these things for our physical and mental well-being.
Of course, it has some disadvantages too. One such disadvantage would be that people close to uspeople, close to us, might interfere within our private matters, occasionallyon and off, which can be somewhat irritatinga tad irritating at times. In fact, I have seen how one of my uncles moved far away from his birthplace because his in-laws kept meddling in his private matters against his wisheswish. Besides, living close to where someone is born, which could also be his comfort zone, for too long might make someone a bit too lazy and scared to try new things in order to improve the quality of life and explore new opportunities.
In conclusion, most people choose to live close to where they were born because it gives them a sense of security and makes them a part of society in which they blend quite well. Living near one's birthplace can haveThis can have both merits and demerits that we should consider carefully before choosing to live in that place or leave it for another place.
Why this response received Band 7.5
The essay fully addresses the reasons, advantages, and disadvantages, using a clear structure and a relevant personal example to develop the discussion. Its strongest feature is the balanced explanation of security, family proximity, interference, and limited personal growth; the main limitation is occasional overextended or awkward phrasing. Prioritise tightening long sentences and expressing the environmental-comfort idea more concretely so the argument remains precise rather than abstract.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
All parts of the question are addressed with relevant, well-developed reasons, benefits, drawbacks, and a specific example of family interference.
Clarify how familiarity with the local environment supports physical or mental well-being through a more concrete mechanism or example.
Coherence and Cohesion
The five-paragraph structure progresses logically from reasons to advantages and disadvantages, although some long sentences carry too many connected ideas.
Split the densest sentences and ensure each paragraph develops one central claim before moving to the next.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is flexible and often precise, but a few expressions such as 'for most parts of history', 'prejudiced thoughts', and 'in a more broad sense' are awkward.
Prefer concise natural forms such as 'for most of history', 'prejudice', and 'in a broader sense', avoiding unnecessary elaboration.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is generally well controlled, though comma placement, comparative forms, and some embedded clauses contain errors.
Remove commas around essential phrases and check comparative forms, writing 'a broader sense' and 'the people we love'.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people spend most of their lives living close to where they were born. What might be the reasons for this? What are the advantages and disadvantages?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.