People are surrounded by advertising, which has an increasing effect on our lives. Do you think the positive effects of this outweigh the negative effects?
Sample Response
These days, the extensive reach of advertising is inescapablehardly escapable, to the point that people may find themselves surrounded by commercial promotions every waking moment. This situation does produce certain positive effects, but from my point of view, they would be overshadowed by undesirable impacts.
The benefitsThe productive points are largely related to business and commerce. The pervasiveness of commercials makes it possible to deliver personalized advertisements to potential customersmakes delivering personalized advertisements to potential customers possible, hence expediting their shopping experience. When a person texts their friends about planning a picnic, they might later see their social media feed filled with offers for camping supplies. These consumersThe campers would, therefore, have an easier time obtaining items needed for their trip. Moreover, the ubiquity of advertisements can also inform people about productseven informs people of products that they do not yet realize they needhave yet to realize are necessary. While many office workers complain about backspine and neck problems from athe sedentary lifestyle, some do find relieffind a relief from their discomfort afterfor their predicament, after coming across ads forabout ergonomic chairs or neck pillows, and buying these products. In a way, this is a more significant advantage than the first, for it allows businesses to tap into new customer bases.
However, the fact that advertising is allowed to become widespread does not happen without disadvantages to people’s lives. InformationInformational overload from oversaturation of commercial promotions is a predictable resulta rather understandable result, one which opens the door to negative impacts. When a person browses the Internet for research, the appearance of advertisements could potentially disrupt their concentrationflow, or worse, distract them from the information they originally need. Students would be able to attest to this, for many a studystudying session has been derailed by seeing ads midway through itby midway seeing ads and wanting to make purchases. This, in my opinion, hampers productivity greatly, and offsets the possible benefits offered by the ubiquity of advertisements.
The current situation where advertising is pervasive in people’s lives, while not necessarily having as many drawbacks as it does advantages, is hardly desirable, seeing how the benefits are significantly outweighed by the negative impacts. If such a circumstance cannot be effectively alleviated, it would be necessary to come up with measures to lessen the detrimental effects.
Why this response received Band 7.5
The essay presents a clear comparative position and supports both sides with relevant, specific examples, while maintaining a strong overall progression. Its main limitation is that several sophisticated expressions are awkward or imprecise, and the conclusion introduces a potentially confusing contrast between the number and weight of the drawbacks. The priority is to sharpen the comparative reasoning and express it with more natural collocations and cleaner sentence construction.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response answers the comparison directly, maintains a clear position, and develops relevant benefits and drawbacks with illustrative examples.
Clarify why the productivity cost outweighs the stated benefits and remove the unnecessary final suggestion about remedial measures.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument follows a clear introduction, opposing body sections, and conclusion, with cohesive links supporting smooth progression.
Make the final comparison more direct so that the concession about the number of drawbacks cannot momentarily confuse the reader.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and topic-specific, but noticeable collocational choices such as “productive points” and “find a relief” reduce naturalness and precision.
Prefer established collocations and avoid inflated wording when a simpler phrase would express the same idea more accurately.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The essay uses a wide variety of complex structures with generally strong control, although a few cumbersome constructions and punctuation choices weaken clarity.
Simplify overloaded sentences and correct awkward structures such as “derailed by midway seeing ads” to improve grammatical fluency.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
People are surrounded by advertising, which has an increasing effect on our lives. Do you think the positive effects of this outweigh the negative effects?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.