Nowadays, many people like to spend their free time and meet others in large shopping malls. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?
Sample Response
Gone are the days when shopping malls were used solely for shoppingpurely for shopping activities. With the emergenceHowever, with the emergence of modern shopping centres, the trend has shifted, and many people choose to spend their leisure timelike to spend their free time and socialise in shopping malls. This has both advantages and disadvantages, discussed belowadvantages and disadvantages that this essay will deal with.
To begin with the negative aspects of spending leisure time in a shopping complex - it makes people lethargic and forces them to avoid outdoor activities. For instance, people who meet others in a park, swimming pool or playground get involved in group activities which is a good way of doing different physical exercises. HoweverBut, when people meet friends in a shopping mall, they either eat fast food or watch a movie - both of which involve little physical movementboth of which lack physical movements. MoreoverOn top of that, these mall visitorsthose people usually avoid outdoor activities as they prefer air-conditioned indoor spacesprefer air-conditioned indoors more.
One advantage is thatAmong the advantages, most modern cities, especially those in populous countries, have very fewhardly have parks, swimming complexes, or playgrounds. Therefore,This is why people can meet others at a shopping complex, which helps them remain socially connectedand it helps them remain social rather than spending too much time online. For instance, whenever a few of my friends from university plan for a get-together, a nice shopping complex in our city comes to our mind because it makes the gathering and experience enjoyable.
To conclude, the old notion of a shopping centre - just for buying and selling products - is no longer applicable todayapplicable in modern days since our expectations, lifestyles, and the availability of outdoor amenities have changed a great deal. This trendAnd this trend has both merits and demeritsdemertis.
Why this response received Band 7.5
The essay is well organised and addresses both sides with a clear contrast between physical inactivity in malls and the social value of malls where public amenities are scarce. Its main limitation is depth and precision: each side rests on a single main idea, the conclusion adds no synthesis, and several phrases are awkward or inaccurate. Add one further consequence for each side, then conclude by summarising the central trade-off in natural language.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both advantages and disadvantages are directly addressed with relevant explanation and examples, although each side is developed through only one principal line of reasoning.
Add another distinct disadvantage, such as impulsive spending, and another advantage, such as convenience or safety, with brief support.
Coherence and Cohesion
A clear four-paragraph structure guides the reader from the topic through disadvantages and advantages to a conclusion, with generally effective cohesion.
Make the conclusion synthesise the physical-health and social-access trade-off instead of merely repeating that both merits and drawbacks exist.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is sufficiently varied for leisure, exercise, socialising, and urban amenities, but several collocations are awkward and "demertis" is misspelled.
Use natural phrases such as "involves little physical activity," "prefer air-conditioned spaces," and "comes to mind," and correct "demerits."
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A variety of structures is used with generally good control, though occasional agreement, punctuation, and comparison errors remain.
Correct forms such as "group activities, which are a good way to exercise" and avoid unnecessary commas after coordinating conjunctions.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Nowadays, many people like to spend their free time and meet others in large shopping malls. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.