Large companies use sports events to promote their products. Some people think this has a negative impact on sports. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
It is common today for large corporations to promote products through various sporting events and teams. In my opinion, though this guarantees financial stability, it is negative overalla negative overall because it de-emphasises the sport itselfdue to de-emphasis of the sport itself.
Those in favor of corporate sponsorship point to the financial flexibility it providesargue its financial flexibility. Most televised games, ranging from basketball and baseball in America to international sports such as football and rugby, are free for viewersfree of cost for viewers. This is only possible because of advertising during commercial breaks, advertising boards around the arenasbillboards around the arenas, and product placement on player uniformsproduct placement such as on player uniforms. Funds accumulated from such sponsorship not only allowallows the games to be broadcast free of charge but also enables team owners to maintain professional facilities and afford the salaries of the best players. If advertising were banned, owners would not be able to fund their teamsteam and players would eventually leave for wealthier leagues.
However, commodification also entails a reduced focus ona reduction in focus on the actual sport. In the past, advertising was less obtrusive and might have consisted of a few commercials and signs in the background. Now, the announcers often incorporate advertisements into their commentarywork ads into their commentary and every highlight is accompanied by prominent sponsor logos on players' jerseysprominent logos on player jerseys. The aggregate effectThe effect aggregate is that audiences feel the games are only a vehicle for advertisinga means of advertising and they become indifferent to the millionaire athletesindifferent the millionaire athletes and their multi-billionaire team owners. This has led many individuals, such as fans of English football, to sever connections to their childhood teams in order to support amateur community matches, which are not as commercialized.
In conclusion, despite the financial benefits of company sponsored sports events, the drawbacks related to the purity of the sport itself make this a negative trend. Owners and leagues must strike asome balance but should prioritize a largely uncommercialised sporting experiencelargely unadulterated product.
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response presents a clear, consistent position and develops both the financial rationale for sponsorship and the concern about commercialization with convincing, specific support. Its main limitation is a small cluster of awkward collocations and grammar slips that slightly reduce precision. The highest-priority improvement is to proofread for natural word combinations and agreement while preserving the strong argument structure and sophisticated vocabulary.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response directly addresses the question, sustains a clear negative position, and develops both the financial benefit and sporting harm with relevant support.
Strengthen the evaluation further by explaining more precisely how reduced sporting purity affects the long-term value of professional sport.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through a well-controlled introduction, contrasting body paragraphs, and a concise conclusion, with cohesive devices used effectively.
Make the link between audience alienation and the shift toward amateur matches slightly more explicit to tighten the final body paragraph.
Lexical Resource
A wide range of precise and less common vocabulary conveys the argument effectively, although several collocations and word combinations are awkward.
Check natural collocations and required prepositions, especially in phrases such as those describing the aggregate effect and audience indifference.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Varied complex structures are generally accurate and fluent, with only occasional agreement, article, and preposition errors.
Proofread each complex sentence for subject-verb agreement and missing function words before finalizing the response.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Large companies use sports events to promote their products. Some people think this has a negative impact on sports. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.