The graph below shows the alcohol-related deaths in 7 different countries and the average beer consumption in 2005.
Sample Response
The provided table outlinestable data outlines per capita beer consumption and alcohol-related deathsdeaths from alcohol intake in seven different countries. Overall, the higher the alcohol consumption was in a country, the higher the mortality rate was there and death cases among men were more prevalent than that of females. In detaildetails, average beer consumption in the Czech Republic was highest in 2002, at 132 litres per personwas the highest in 2002, 132 litres per person, and the alcohol-related death toll was also the highestdeath count was also the maximum in this country in 2005. Around 1.37 million Czechs died from alcohol-related causescomplexities in 2005 and 0.9 million of them were men. Per capita beer consumption in Germany, Austria and Ireland were almost similar, 107, 106 and 104 litres respectively and death tolls from alcohol intake in these countries were also higher. Around 1.1, 0.91 and 0.58 million people in these countries diedpeople from these countries departed from alcohol-related causesdue to their alcohol issues and the number of male deathsnumber of deceased males was significantly higher than the number of female deathssignificantly higher than that of females. The lowest beer intake was recordedcould be observed in Canada, 86 litres per person86 litres per person in a year, but the number of Canadians who diedthe number of Canadians died from alcohol-related problemsproblem was higher than that of Estonia and Lithuania. 125,000125 thousand Lithuanians died of alcohol-related causesalcohol-caused problems of whom 13,000 were femaleof which only 13000 were females.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response selects the leading countries effectively, presents accurate supporting figures, and gives a clear overview of the broad association between beer consumption and deaths while recognising Canada's exception. Its main weakness is imprecise and sometimes inappropriate wording for mortality data, alongside recurring grammatical errors. The priority is to report deaths neutrally and distinguish absolute death totals from mortality rates when making cross-country comparisons.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The overview identifies the principal relationship and male-female pattern, and the selected country figures are accurate and sufficiently comparative.
Clarify that the table gives absolute death counts rather than mortality rates and explicitly frame Canada as the main exception to the broad pattern.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response moves logically from the overview to high-consumption countries and then lower-consumption exceptions, despite being presented as one long paragraph.
Separate the overview from grouped detail paragraphs for higher and lower consumption countries to make the comparisons easier to scan.
Lexical Resource
There is a good range for quantities and comparison, but expressions such as 'alcohol-related complexities', 'departed', and 'alcohol issues' are imprecise.
Use neutral statistical language such as 'alcohol-related deaths', 'death total', 'male deaths', and 'beer consumption per capita'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex comparisons are generally understandable, but agreement, article, relative-clause, and noun-form errors occur repeatedly.
Check structures such as 'consumption was', 'the number of Canadians who died', and 'higher than the figure for females'.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph below shows the alcohol-related deaths in 7 different countries and the average beer consumption in 2005.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.