The graph below shows the alcohol-related deaths in 7 different countries and the average beer consumption in 2005.
Sample Response
The table data shows the alcohol-related mortality in 2005 in 7 different countries and beer consumption per personper person beer consumption in these countries in 2002. Overall, the highest number of alcohol-related deathsthe most alcohol-related deaths were in the Czech Republic in 2005 while the average beer consumption there was also the highest. Alcohol-related deathsDeath from alcohol intake was more prevalent among men than that of women. More than 5 million people dieddeparted in 2005 from alcohol-related causesfrom the alcohol intake in the given seven countries and it was significantly higher among men. There is a connection between the per capita beer consumption and deathswith the death from alcohol-related problems. In the Czech Republic, on an average, each citizen drank 132 litres of beer132 litres beer in 2005 and that caused the highest number of alcohol-related death in this country (about 1,369,000 deaths1,36,9000 death). GermanyGerman consumed the second highest amount of beer and the country recorded the second-highest number of alcohol-related deathsit caused the second highest death in this country which was about 1,185,000. Lithuanian population drank comparatively less beerfewer litres of beers on an average and the least number of people (about 125,000) died from the alcohol-related causesdiseases there. Austria, Ireland, Canada and Estonia had comparatively higher alcohol consumption and higher numbers of deathshigher death rates from alcohol. Interestingly the alcohol-related death in Canada was higher than those in Estonia and Lithuaniahigher than the Estonia and Lithuania though Canadians consumeCanadian people consumes comparatively less beerless quantity of beers than the latter two countries. Finally, the percentage of females who died from alcohol-related problems was lower than their male counterparts.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response identifies the dominant country, the gender pattern, and several major comparisons accurately, giving it a clear factual core. Its main weakness is recurring imprecision in data description and language, including a malformed Czech total and overgeneralised claims about consumption and death rates. Prioritise exact figures and categories, then proofread agreement, articles, and collocations so the comparisons read cleanly and authoritatively.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
A clear overview identifies the Czech Republic and male mortality as dominant features, and most major figures and comparisons are accurate despite some imprecise claims and one malformed total.
Verify every figure against the table, distinguish counts from percentages, and avoid broad claims about consumption and mortality unless all countries support them.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response moves logically from an overview to country comparisons, but the single dense paragraph and some loosely connected claims weaken the organisation.
Separate the introduction, overview, and grouped detail comparisons into clear paragraphs with more purposeful links.
Lexical Resource
There is an adequate range of topic vocabulary, but recurring awkward collocations and word-choice errors reduce precision.
Use accurate combinations such as alcohol-related deaths, beer consumption, and died from alcohol-related causes, and avoid informal or incorrect substitutes.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex sentence forms are attempted and meaning remains clear, but agreement, article, plural, and preposition errors occur frequently.
Proofread each sentence for subject-verb agreement, countable noun forms, articles, and prepositions before finalising the report.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph below shows the alcohol-related deaths in 7 different countries and the average beer consumption in 2005.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.