The map below shows the changes in an American town between 1948 and 2010.
Sample Response
The maps portray the modifications which took place in an American town between 1948 and 2010. Overall, in spite of some significant changes, the dimension of town did not alter. However, these variations manifest that the town developed gradually in terms of everything during this interval. Looking at the details, there were some significant variabilities. From the middle of town up to north-east, the surrounding lake with trees and the factories were situated in 1948. In 2010, these places were modified to a supermarket, commercial buildings and the airport. At the same time in the bottom right-hand corner of the town, the sports stadium replaced the church during this time. Residential houses and local supermarket were substituted with commercial buildings. By contrast, the residential houses which were located on the right side of the canal and the petrol station situated in the north of the town did not change their positions all through a period of time.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Natural map verb Original: modifications which took place Suggested revision: changes that took place Why it matters: Changes is more natural here.
- 2. Missing article Original: the dimension of town Suggested revision: the size of the town Why it matters: Town needs an article, and size is the natural noun.
- 3. Unsupported overview Original: did not alter Suggested revision: remained broadly similar in extent Why it matters: The maps do not provide a measured town boundary.
- 4. Wrong verb Original: manifest that Suggested revision: show that Why it matters: Manifest is unnatural in this construction.
- 5. Vague claim Original: in terms of everything Suggested revision: through increased commercial development Why it matters: Name the main visible trend.
- 6. Wrong noun Original: significant variabilities Suggested revision: significant changes Why it matters: Variability does not describe map replacements naturally.
- 7. Location phrase Original: up to north-east Suggested revision: to the north-east Why it matters: Use the fixed directional phrase.
- 8. Visual inaccuracy Original: the surrounding lake with trees Suggested revision: the central pond and surrounding trees Why it matters: The visual shows a small pond, not a lake.
- 9. Weak comparison Original: were situated in 1948 Suggested revision: occupied this area in 1948 Why it matters: This more clearly locates the former features.
- 10. Replacement wording Original: these places were modified to Suggested revision: these sites were replaced by Why it matters: Places do not modify themselves.
- 11. Wrong location Original: bottom right-hand corner Suggested revision: southern part of the town Why it matters: The stadium is south of the canal, not in the bottom-right corner.
- 12. Add location Original: replaced the church Suggested revision: replaced the church south of the canal Why it matters: Tie the change to the mapped position.
Suggested Rewrites
- modifications which took place changes that took place
- the dimension of town the size of the town
- did not alter remained broadly similar in extent
- manifest that show that
- in terms of everything through increased commercial development
- significant variabilities significant changes
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response identifies several important replacements and correctly notes the unchanged petrol station and eastern housing, giving the report a useful factual core. However, the overview is vague and partly inaccurate, while several locations and changes are misdescribed. Prioritise a precise overview of commercial expansion and then organise details by area, checking every feature against both maps.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
Several major changes are selected, but the overview is vague and claims about town size and gradual development are unsupported; the lake and stadium locations are also misstated.
State the dominant transformation accurately, then compare unchanged and replaced features by location.
Coherence and Cohesion
There is a basic overview-detail progression, but all details sit in one paragraph and some linking is imprecise.
Use separate overview and detail paragraphs, grouping western, central, and eastern changes.
Lexical Resource
Some map vocabulary is attempted, but collocations such as 'dimension of town' and 'significant variabilities' are unnatural.
Use precise map terms such as remained unchanged, was replaced by, site, and north-east.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of sentence forms is used, but article, preposition, and tense errors recur.
Use past simple consistently and check articles and fixed location phrases.