The pie chart below presents the percentage of new job opportunities for different professional groups in Australia in the year 2001.
Sample Response
The provided pie chart depicts new employment opportunities in Australia for different professional groups in 2001. OverallGenerally speaking, the largest share of job openingshighest job opening was for job seekers in managementin management group while engineering and research-relatedresearch related job openings were considerably fewer. The chart shows thatAccording to the given illustration, 36% of all job openings were36% of total job opening was in the management sectorin management sector in Australia in 2001 and this ratio of new jobs was higher than the share in any other sectorhigher than any other sectors. Approximately one out of every four jobs waswere related to social service while 15% of jobsaround one out of seven jobs were in the finance sector. Furthermore, medical jobs accounted for 12% of openingsmedicine specialists had 12% jobs to apply to while only 8% and 3% of openings were in engineering and research respectivelyjob announcements were for engineers and researchers respectively in Australia in 2001. It is noticeable that fewer jobs related to research, only 3%, were announced in 2001 in Australia while management and social service jobs accounted for the largest combined sharecomprised the highest ratio, more than 60%, of new job openings that yearof the new job opening in this year.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response accurately reports every sector and highlights the dominant management and social-service shares, supported by clear proportional comparisons. The main limitation is presentation: the entire report forms one paragraph, while several awkward noun phrases and agreement errors reduce polish. Divide the introduction, overview, and details into purposeful paragraphs, and revise expressions such as total job openings and jobs in medicine.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The report presents a clear overview, accurately covers all six sectors, and supports the key comparisons with appropriate figures.
For even greater concision, combine the smallest categories into one comparison rather than repeating the research figure.
Coherence and Cohesion
The sequence of information is clear and linking is effective, but the entire response is presented as a single paragraph.
Separate the introduction and overview from a logically grouped details paragraph to make the structure immediately visible.
Lexical Resource
The response uses varied language for proportions and comparisons, but recurring awkward collocations reduce precision.
Prefer natural phrases such as share of job openings, jobs in medicine, and the largest proportion.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures conveys meaning clearly, although agreement, article, and number errors recur.
Check singular and plural forms after percentages and proportional phrases, particularly job opening versus job openings.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The pie chart below presents the percentage of new job opportunities for different professional groups in Australia in the year 2001.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.