The pie chart below presents the percentage of new job opportunities for different professional groups in Australia in the year 2001.
Sample Response
The pie chart presents percentages of new job openings by professionprofession-wise new job opening ratio in 2001 in Australia. Job openingsThe jobs openings were classified in six broad categories:categories including medicine, engineering, research, management, finance and social service. Overall, management jobs accounted for the largest share of new jobscomprised the highest new jobs in Australia while research-relatedresearch related job openings werejob announcement was the lowest. According to the given pie chart, 36% of new jobs36% fresh jobs were in managementwere looking for management staffs which representedcovered the largest sharehighest ratio of new jobs in Australia in 2001. Next to management job openings were social service jobs that accounted for roughly one-quarter of fresh jobs that yearin this year. Job openings in the finance sectorFinance sector’s job opening accounted for 15% of all advertised positionstotal job advertisement which was 3% higher than the share for medicinethat of medicine specialists’ jobs. Interestingly, engineers had only 8% jobs to apply to and this was significantly lower than that of management and social service job openings. Only three out of one hundred job reporting was for researchers in Australia. It is interesting to notice that specialists like engineers and doctors had significantly fewer jobs to apply in 2001 in Australia.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The report identifies the largest and smallest sectors clearly and accounts for all six proportions with accurate figures and useful comparisons. Its main limitation is language control: awkward collocations and recurring number and agreement errors make several sentences sound unnatural despite remaining understandable. Prioritise rewriting each figure as a precise noun phrase, such as jobs in management accounted for 36%, and then proofread plurals, articles and verb agreement.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The overview is clear, all six categories are covered, and the percentages and principal comparisons accurately reflect the pie chart.
Refine the final comparison by grouping the three smallest professional sectors rather than repeating the point about specialists.
Coherence and Cohesion
The report moves logically from classification and overview through descending proportions, with clear referencing and comparison.
Divide the overview and detailed figures into distinct paragraphs and reduce repetitive closing commentary.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a reasonable range of chart vocabulary, but collocations such as "management staffs" and "job reporting" are noticeably unnatural.
Use precise phrases such as "management positions," "job vacancies" and "research roles accounted for 3%."
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Meaning remains clear and some complex structures are attempted, but plural, article and agreement errors recur across the report.
Proofread noun phrases and verb agreement, especially forms such as "job openings," "management staff" and "three out of every hundred jobs were."
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The pie chart below presents the percentage of new job opportunities for different professional groups in Australia in the year 2001.
Your response
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