The graph below shows the number of tourists visiting a particular Caribbean island between 2010 and 2017.
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Sample Response
The provided line graph illustrates trends inpresents specific information regarding the number of tourists visiting a particular Caribbean island between 2010 and 2017.
Overall, the total number of visitors witnessed substantial growth over the seven-year period. Furthermore, it is evident that the figure for tourists who chose to stay on cruise ships exhibited modest fluctuations in the early years , followed by a significant risegrowth. Additionally, the numberdata of those staying on islands stabilized markedly over the middle three3 years, indicating a period of notable consistency.
A closer analysis of the data reveals that there was a clear upward trajectory in the total number of visitors , rising from an initial 1 million in 2010 to 3.5 million in 2017, representing an increase of 2.5 million.which is nearly 3.5 times its starting level. In detail, the figure for those staying on cruise ships fluctuatedexperienced a fluctuation in the first 4 years, before surging from 0.5 million to 2 million in 2017,a fourfold increase compared to 2013.
Notably,It is noteworthy to highlight that the number of tourists staying on islands rose steadilyclimbed drastically to reach approximately 1.5 million in 2013 after remaining steady at around 0.75 million in 2010 and 2011. Additionally, the figure plateaued at 1.5 million between 2013 and 2015, except for a minor dip in 2016. By 2017, the figure for cruise ship visitors reached 2.0 million, overtaking the island-staying visitors, who had returned to 1.5 million after recovering from their 2016 dip.clearly surpassing the 1.5 million tourists staying on the island.
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response presents a clear and well-structured description of the line graph, featuring a clear overview and accurate data points throughout. The vocabulary is varied and largely appropriate, while paragraphing and cohesive devices facilitate logical flow. To improve performance further, refine punctuation spacing and address minor grammatical inaccuracies in complex sentence structures.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
Key trends, main features, and data comparisons across the period are accurately selected and clearly reported.
Ensure precise reporting of final data points, such as mentioning the recovery of island visitors back to 1.5 million in 2017.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information and ideas are organized logically with a clear progression and effective paragraph structure.
Vary cohesive phrasing slightly to avoid overly formulaic sequence markers like 'A closer analysis' and 'It is noteworthy to highlight'.
Lexical Resource
A good range of task-appropriate vocabulary is used flexibly to describe trends and values.
Ensure prepositions and plural expressions, such as 'staying on the island' rather than 'staying on islands', are used consistently.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A variety of complex sentence structures is used with good control and high overall clarity.
Eliminate minor punctuation formatting errors, such as missing spaces before commas, and ensure exact subject-verb agreement.