The diagram below shows one way of manufacturing ceramic pots
Sample Response
The diagram shows one of the possible ways to produce ceramic pots. Overall, there are a total of 11 steps in the process of ceramic pots production.
First, raw materials to make ceramic pots are dug out of the ground by a digging machine before being transported by a truck to a factory where the next 8 steps pots are followed to manufacture ceramic spots.
At the factory, the raw materials are crushed into powder by a machine. In the next step, the powder is mixed with water, and then this mixture is poured into moulds that form the mixture in the shape of a pot. Then, these moulds are dried from 4 to 6 hours to create assembled clay pots. Next, the clay pots are placed into an oven and heated at a temperature of 1000 degrees Celsius. Once they are ready, they are coloured and heated in another oven for colour firing. The outcome of this step is the final products which are finished ceramic pots.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix the noun phrase Original: process of ceramic pots production Suggested revision: ceramic-pot production process Why it matters: The revised compound noun gives the phrase a natural English structure.
- 2. Use a concise process verb Original: moulds that form the mixture in the shape of a pot Suggested revision: moulds that shape the mixture into pots Why it matters: The verb 'shape' expresses the moulding stage more directly.
- 3. Name the material accurately Original: these moulds are dried Suggested revision: the moulded clay is dried Why it matters: The diagram shows the clay being dried in the moulds rather than the moulds themselves being the product.
- 4. Separate drying and assembly Original: to create assembled clay pots Suggested revision: before the clay pieces are assembled into pots Why it matters: The visual presents assembly as a distinct stage after drying.
- 5. Use the natural preposition Original: into Suggested revision: in Why it matters: Objects are normally described as being placed 'in' an oven.
- 6. State the target temperature Original: heated at a temperature of 1000 degrees Celsius Suggested revision: heated to 1,000 degrees Celsius Why it matters: The concise construction accurately describes the firing temperature.
- 7. Identify the preceding stage Original: Once they are ready Suggested revision: After this initial firing Why it matters: The specific connector makes the sequence and reference unambiguous.
- 8. Remove unnecessary wording Original: one of the possible ways Suggested revision: one way Why it matters: The shorter phrase conveys the same meaning more directly.
- 9. Remove the redundancy Original: there are a total of Suggested revision: there are Why it matters: The phrase 'a total of' repeats information already expressed by the number.
- 10. Avoid repeating the product Original: raw materials to make ceramic pots Suggested revision: the raw materials Why it matters: The product has already been identified, so repeating it here is unnecessary.
- 11. Use a precise machine term Original: by a digging machine Suggested revision: with an excavator Why it matters: The diagram depicts an excavator digging the raw material from the ground.
- 12. Use the transport collocation Original: transported by a truck Suggested revision: transported by truck Why it matters: The zero-article construction is more natural when describing the means of transport.
Suggested Rewrites
- process of ceramic pots production ceramic-pot production process
- moulds that form the mixture in the shape of a pot moulds that shape the mixture into pots
- these moulds are dried the moulded clay is dried
- to create assembled clay pots before the clay pieces are assembled into pots
- into in
- heated at a temperature of 1000 degrees Celsius heated to 1,000 degrees Celsius
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response follows the manufacturing sequence clearly from extraction to the finished pots, with accurate use of passive structures and relevant process vocabulary. Its main weakness is uneven language control, including one severely awkward sentence and several imprecise or repetitive phrases, while the overview mainly counts stages rather than summarizing the transformation. Improve the overview and edit each sentence for natural collocation and grammatical completeness.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The main stages are accurately covered in sequence, including crushing, mixing, moulding, drying, two heating stages, and colouring, though the overview is limited to the stage count.
Summarize the overall transformation from excavated raw material to finished coloured pots and mention the two firing stages as a defining feature.
Coherence and Cohesion
The sequence is easy to follow, with logical paragraphing and clear chronological links, although the final body paragraph relies heavily on repetitive sequencing words.
Vary the linking by grouping related factory stages and using reference phrases instead of repeatedly introducing each step with "then" or "next".
Lexical Resource
Relevant process vocabulary is used effectively, but awkward collocations and repetition reduce precision, especially around production, moulding, and the final product.
Replace phrases such as "ceramic pots production" and "steps pots are followed" with natural process descriptions and proofread for slips like "ceramic spots".
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response shows a useful range of passives and complex clauses, but several malformed phrases and agreement errors interrupt otherwise clear communication.
Rewrite the transport sentence completely and check noun phrases, relative clauses, and singular-plural agreement throughout.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The diagram below shows one way of manufacturing ceramic pots
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.