The table below presents the number of children ever born to women aged 40-44 years in Australia for each year the information was collected since 1981.
Sample Response
The given data shows the number of children born to 40-44 years old women in Australia for 4 different years. The number of women from 40- 44 years old who had either one child or none, increased over time while this number decreased for the women of the same age group who had two or more children. In 1981, the percentage of women in 40-44 years age group who has no children was 8.5% and in 1986 this percentage increased slightly and reached to 9.7%. The women of the same age group with one child were 7.6% in 1981 and reached to 8.7% 5 years later. The percentages of women who fall in the same age category with 2-4 and more children were much higher (approximately 28%). In 1996 and 2006 (with a 10 years interval) the percentage reached to over 15% for childless women while it reached to 13% for women with 1 child. The percentage of women with 2 children had very little change while the percentage for three of four children decreased over time. In summary, the women from 40-44 years old had more children initially and this percentage decreased over time.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use age modifier Original: 40-44 years old women Suggested revision: women aged 40–44 Why it matters: The age range should modify women with the form 'aged 40–44'.
- 2. Fix range spacing Original: 40- 44 years old Suggested revision: 40–44 years old Why it matters: The age range should not contain an internal space.
- 3. Remove incorrect comma Original: none, increased Suggested revision: none increased Why it matters: A comma must not separate the subject phrase from its verb.
- 4. Name the measure Original: this number decreased for the women Suggested revision: the percentages decreased among women Why it matters: The table reports percentages of women, not a number of children.
- 5. Fix agreement and tense Original: has Suggested revision: had Why it matters: The plural noun 'women' requires 'had' in this past-data description.
- 6. Remove extra preposition Original: reached to 9.7% Suggested revision: reached 9.7% Why it matters: 'Reach' takes the figure directly without 'to'.
- 7. Remove extra preposition Original: reached to 8.7% Suggested revision: reached 8.7% Why it matters: 'Reach' takes the percentage directly.
- 8. Simplify category phrase Original: who fall in the same age category Suggested revision: in the same age category Why it matters: Removing the unnecessary relative clause produces a grammatical noun phrase.
- 9. Name categories accurately Original: with 2-4 and more children Suggested revision: with two, three, or four or more children Why it matters: The table has separate categories for two, three, and four or more children.
- 10. Report the range Original: much higher (approximately 28%) Suggested revision: much higher, at roughly 27–29% in 1981 Why it matters: The three 1981 values are 29.0%, 27.4%, and 27.6%, rather than one common figure.
- 11. Use compound adjective Original: with a 10 years interval Suggested revision: at a ten-year interval Why it matters: A compound adjective before 'interval' uses the singular form 'year'.
- 12. Correct childless figures Original: the percentage reached to over 15% Suggested revision: the percentage rose from 12.8% to 15.9% Why it matters: Childlessness was 12.8% in 1996 and 15.9% in 2006.
Suggested Rewrites
- 40-44 years old women women aged 40–44
- 40- 44 years old 40–44 years old
- none, increased none increased
- this number decreased for the women the percentages decreased among women
- has had
- reached to 9.7% reached 9.7%
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response identifies the broad shift toward smaller families and uses several relevant figures, giving the report a generally clear direction. Its main weakness is data accuracy: the share with two children rose substantially rather than changing very little, and several categories are grouped too vaguely. Prioritise precise comparisons across all five family-size categories, especially the contrasting movement in two-child, three-child, and four-or-more groups.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
A clear overview and some accurate figures are provided, but the major rise in the two-child category is misreported and higher-parity groups lack precise coverage.
Compare the start and end values for all five categories and state that two children rose from 29.0% to 38.3% while three and four or more fell.
Coherence and Cohesion
The report follows an understandable introduction-overview-detail sequence, although presenting everything in one paragraph weakens the separation of key comparisons.
Use distinct paragraphs for the overview and details, grouping the rising categories separately from the falling categories.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is sufficient to describe trends, but awkward phrases such as 'reached to' and 'women from 40-44 years old' recur.
Use precise forms such as 'rose to' and 'women aged 40–44', and vary comparison language without sacrificing accuracy.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures communicates the meaning, though agreement, preposition, and noun-phrase errors are recurrent.
Proofread age expressions, subject-verb agreement, and verb-preposition combinations so that complex comparisons remain grammatically controlled.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The table below presents the number of children ever born to women aged 40-44 years in Australia for each year the information was collected since 1981.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.