The pie chart shows the amount of money that a children's charity located in the USA spent and received in one year.
Sample Response
The given pie charts illustrate how a children's charity in the USA collected and used its money in a year. The first chart is categorized into 6 different revenue sources and the second one is divided into 3 purposes of expenditures. Overall, it can be seen that the foundation obtained the largest portion of its money from the donated food. On the other hand, it spent most of its money on the program services. To begin with, 86.6 per cent of revenue for this children's charity came from donated food in a year, which is over eight times as much as contributions from the community (10.4%). These two sources accounted for exactly 97 per cent of the total income. Additionally, more than two per cent income was provided by the program revenue. Finally, the government grants and other income were almost unnoticeable, less than 0.5 per cent. At the same time, the charity had to spend almost 96% on its program services. Regarding the remaining 4.2 per cent of expenditures, 2.6% was for fundraising and the rest was spent for management and general purposes. It is worth noticing that the total amount of income was $53,561,580, which was just enough to cover the expenditures of $53,224,896. At the end of the year, the charity had a saving of just over 330 thousand dollars.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Describe the chart directly Original: is categorized into 6 different revenue sources Suggested revision: shows six revenue sources Why it matters: A chart shows categories; it is not itself categorized into revenue sources.
- 2. Name the categories clearly Original: 3 purposes of expenditures Suggested revision: three expenditure categories Why it matters: Expenditure categories is the natural term for the divisions shown in the chart.
- 3. Remove the article Original: the donated food Suggested revision: donated food Why it matters: Donated food is used as a general category label and does not take the definite article here.
- 4. Use a neutral transition Original: On the other hand Suggested revision: Meanwhile Why it matters: The sentence shifts from revenue to expenditure rather than presenting an opposing claim.
- 5. Remove the article Original: the program services Suggested revision: program services Why it matters: The chart's category label is used without the definite article.
- 6. Use a possessive phrase Original: 86.6 per cent of revenue for this children's charity Suggested revision: 86.6 per cent of the charity's revenue Why it matters: The possessive form states the relationship between the charity and its revenue naturally.
- 7. Add the partitive preposition Original: more than two per cent income Suggested revision: more than two per cent of its income Why it matters: A percentage of a total requires of before the noun.
- 8. Use chart vocabulary Original: almost unnoticeable Suggested revision: negligible Why it matters: Negligible is the precise formal term for these very small proportions.
- 9. Correct the preposition Original: for Suggested revision: on Why it matters: Money is spent on a purpose or category, not spent for it in this construction.
- 10. Use the standard noun Original: a saving Suggested revision: savings Why it matters: Savings is the standard noun for money remaining after expenditure.
- 11. Use financial reporting verbs Original: collected and used its money Suggested revision: received and spent money Why it matters: Received and spent describe the two financial totals more precisely.
- 12. Keep the subject consistent Original: foundation Suggested revision: charity Why it matters: Charity matches the entity named in the task and throughout the response.
Suggested Rewrites
- is categorized into 6 different revenue sources shows six revenue sources
- 3 purposes of expenditures three expenditure categories
- the donated food donated food
- On the other hand Meanwhile
- the program services program services
- 86.6 per cent of revenue for this children's charity 86.6 per cent of the charity's revenue
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response gives a clear overview and accurately selects nearly all major proportions and totals, including the charity’s small annual surplus. Its main limitation is minor imprecision in covering the smallest revenue sources, alongside several awkward noun and preposition choices. The highest-priority improvement is to name all three minor income categories precisely and polish a few expressions while retaining the concise comparisons.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The dominant revenue and expenditure categories, their key percentages, both totals, and the resulting surplus are reported accurately, with only investment income omitted from the minor sources.
Mention investment income alongside government grants and other income so that all small revenue categories are represented precisely.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas move logically from the overview to revenue and expenditure details, but the entire report is presented as one paragraph despite distinct information groups.
Use separate paragraphs for the overview, revenue sources, and expenditures and totals to make the strong internal progression more visible.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and generally precise, with effective terms for proportions and financial categories, though a few expressions such as “purposes of expenditures” and “had a saving” are unnatural.
Prefer natural financial collocations such as “areas of expenditure,” “generated revenue,” and “recorded a surplus.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A varied range of complex sentences is controlled well and meaning remains consistently clear, with only occasional article, preposition, and noun-form errors.
Refine small constructions such as “more than two per cent of income” and “spent on management” to improve grammatical accuracy.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The pie chart shows the amount of money that a children's charity located in the USA spent and received in one year.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.