The chart and graph below give information about sales and share prices for Coca-Cola.
Sample Response
The pie chart and line graph show the data on sales volume and share price of Coca-Cola brand. As is given in the illustration, in the year 2000, Coca-Cola was sold most in America and the share price of Coca-Cola was highest in 1998 and showed some fluctuations. As is presented in the pie chart, in 2000, Coca-Cola had more than 55% sales in Latin and North America. In Europe, it had more than 20% sales volume. In Asia, it sold 16.45% and in Africa, it had 7% sales volume. This indicates that the American continent had the largest market for Coca-Cola while this market was the lowest in Africa. Again, the share price of Coca-Cola was only $33 in 1996 and this price increased to $68 in 1997. The price reached the highest in 1998 when it was $80 per share. The price then started dropping and with some fluctuations, it reached it around $60 in 2001. In summary, the American Continent was the largest market for Coca-Cola in 2000 and the average share price of it was $60 though this price varied year to year.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use possessive form Original: share price of Coca-Cola brand Suggested revision: Coca-Cola's share price Why it matters: The possessive form is more natural and removes the unnecessary word brand.
- 2. Identify the region Original: sold most in America Suggested revision: sold most widely in the Americas Why it matters: The pie chart separates North and Latin America, so the plural regional name is clearer.
- 3. Use chart collocation Original: had more than 55% sales Suggested revision: accounted for more than 55% of sales Why it matters: A region accounts for a share of total sales rather than having sales as a percentage.
- 4. Express the share Original: had more than 20% sales volume Suggested revision: accounted for more than 20% of sales Why it matters: This construction states Europe's proportion of the total accurately and naturally.
- 5. Correct Asia figure Original: In Asia, it sold 16.45% Suggested revision: Asia accounted for 16.4% Why it matters: The pie chart labels Asia's share as 16.4%, not 16.45%.
- 6. Include full region Original: and in Africa, it had 7% sales volume Suggested revision: and Africa and the Middle East accounted for 7.0% of sales Why it matters: The 7.0% slice covers Africa and the Middle East together.
- 7. Use peak collocation Original: The price reached the highest Suggested revision: The price reached its peak Why it matters: A value reaches its peak rather than reaches the highest.
- 8. Signal the overview Original: As is given in the illustration Suggested revision: Overall Why it matters: Overall clearly marks the sentence as a summary of the main features.
- 9. Use concise date Original: in the year 2000 Suggested revision: in 2000 Why it matters: The shorter date expression is more natural and equally precise.
- 10. Use peak verb Original: the share price of Coca-Cola was highest Suggested revision: Coca-Cola's share price peaked Why it matters: Peaked expresses the maximum value more directly and naturally.
- 11. Use direct reporting Original: As is presented in the pie chart Suggested revision: The pie chart shows that Why it matters: The direct reporting clause is clearer and less formulaic.
- 12. Name the region Original: In Europe, it Suggested revision: Europe Why it matters: Using Europe as the subject avoids the vague pronoun it.
Suggested Rewrites
- share price of Coca-Cola brand Coca-Cola's share price
- sold most in America sold most widely in the Americas
- had more than 55% sales accounted for more than 55% of sales
- had more than 20% sales volume accounted for more than 20% of sales
- In Asia, it sold 16.45% Asia accounted for 16.4%
- and in Africa, it had 7% sales volume and Africa and the Middle East accounted for 7.0% of sales
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response successfully identifies the dominant American markets and the broad rise, peak, and subsequent fall in the share price. However, several details lack precision: Africa is separated from the Middle East, the Asian figure is misstated, the 1997 price is oversimplified, and the final claim about a $60 average is unsupported. Prioritize exact category labels and distinguish individual plotted points from overall averages.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The report presents the main market shares and price trend with a clear overview, but several labels, figures, and interpretations are imprecise.
Report the full Africa and Middle East label, use the exact Asian share, and remove the unsupported average-price claim.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response moves logically from the overview to regional sales and then share prices, although repetition and limited paragraphing reduce fluency.
Use separate paragraphs for the overview, sales distribution, and price movement, with fewer repeated framing phrases.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient vocabulary for describing proportions and trends, but several collocations and references are awkward.
Use more natural phrases such as accounted for sales, market share, and its share price.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied sentence forms and remains clear, though awkward clauses and pronoun references recur.
Revise structures such as reached it around and share price of it, and tighten article and reference choices.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The chart and graph below give information about sales and share prices for Coca-Cola.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.