The chart and graph below give information about sales and share prices for Coca-Cola.
Sample Response
The pie chart and line graph reveal the global sales ratio of Coca-Cola in 2000 and its share price between 1996 and 2001. It is apparently seen that America was the largest market for this brand and its share price was highest in 1998. According to the pie chart, Coca-Cola sold 17.1 billion unit case in the year 2000 and more than 55% of this sale was made in North and Latin America. They sold around 3.45 billion unit case in Europe, which was their second largest sales ratio. Asian consumers drank around 16% unit case of Coca-Cola in this year and African and the Middle Eastern citizens together consumed 7% of the total sale in 2000. The line graph shows that the share price of this brand was $36 in 1996 and it rapidly increased in the following years. Except in the middle of 1997, the price kept on going up until it reached its peak at around $80 per share in 1998. Hereafter, the price gradually declined and went below $50 in early 2000. Finally, the share price of Coca-Cola stood at around $60 during the mid-2000.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Name sales distribution Original: global sales ratio Suggested revision: regional sales distribution Why it matters: The pie chart shows each region's share of global sales, not a single ratio.
- 2. Use concise overview Original: It is apparently seen Suggested revision: It is clear Why it matters: The original phrase is redundant and unnatural.
- 3. Identify combined Americas Original: America was the largest market Suggested revision: North and Latin America together formed the largest market Why it matters: The pie chart presents North America and Latin America as separate regions whose combined share is largest.
- 4. Pluralize unit cases Original: case Suggested revision: cases Why it matters: The count noun must be plural after 17.1 billion.
- 5. Use concise year phrase Original: in the year 2000 Suggested revision: in 2000 Why it matters: The shorter phrase states the year without redundancy.
- 6. Use plural sales subject Original: more than 55% of this sale was made Suggested revision: more than 55% of these sales occurred Why it matters: "Sales" is plural and regional sales occur rather than being made in this passive form.
- 7. Clarify pronoun reference Original: They sold around Suggested revision: Coca-Cola sold around Why it matters: The plural pronoun has no clear plural antecedent.
- 8. Pluralize measured units Original: case Suggested revision: cases Why it matters: A count greater than one requires the plural "unit cases."
- 9. Use regional share Original: second largest sales ratio Suggested revision: second-largest regional sales share Why it matters: The pie slice represents a regional share of sales, not a sales ratio.
- 10. Report Asian share Original: Asian consumers drank around 16% unit case of Coca-Cola Suggested revision: Asia accounted for around 16% of Coca-Cola sales Why it matters: The chart reports a regional sales percentage, not a percentage of unit cases drunk by consumers.
- 11. Name chart region Original: African and the Middle Eastern citizens Suggested revision: Africa and the Middle East Why it matters: The chart labels regions rather than citizens or nationalities.
- 12. Use plural sales Original: sale Suggested revision: sales Why it matters: "Sales" is conventionally plural when referring to the total amount sold.
Suggested Rewrites
- global sales ratio regional sales distribution
- It is apparently seen It is clear
- America was the largest market North and Latin America together formed the largest market
- case cases
- in the year 2000 in 2000
- more than 55% of this sale was made more than 55% of these sales occurred
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response’s strongest feature is its accurate coverage of the regional sales distribution and the principal rise, peak, and decline in Coca-Cola’s share price. Its main limitation is that the time-series account ends around mid-2000 and does not report the final 2001 position; the highest-priority improvement is to trace the graph through its endpoint while using precise units and natural sales terminology.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response gives a clear overview and accurately selects most key sales shares and price movements, but it omits the final movement to 2001.
Complete the time series by noting the recovery after the 2000 dip and the final price of roughly $55 in 2001.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is logically ordered from the overview to regional sales and then chronological share-price movements, with clear progression.
Strengthen the final transition by carrying the price description through the chart’s endpoint rather than stopping in 2000.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and generally precise, though phrases such as “sales ratio,” “unit case,” and “Hereafter” are not natural in this context.
Use “sales share,” plural “unit cases,” and “thereafter” or a direct time reference.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of complex sentences is handled effectively, with occasional article, agreement, and singular–plural errors that do not impede meaning.
Proofread quantified noun phrases and references, especially “17.1 billion unit cases” and “these sales.”
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The chart and graph below give information about sales and share prices for Coca-Cola.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.