The graph below shows the number of Computer and Internet users in different Arab countries.
Sample Response
The bar graph shows surprising differences in the level of computer and Internet discernment in the Arab world. Overall, the UAE and Kuwait are by far the most computerised countries, and a dismaying scenario in Egypt, Morocco and Syria is noticeable in terms of the Internet technology's penetration in the latter countries. The chart present that The UAE has over 15% computer users, compared to Kuwait's 13% and Lebanon's 6%. In contrast, countries such as Egypt, Morocco and Syria have less than 20 computers per 1000 of their citizens. There is also a large disparity in Internet use and availability among those countries. The UAE has by far the highest proportion of netizens, Internet users, with more than one-third of its population connected to the Internet. Kuwait and Lebanon are second and third again, with roughly 10% and 8% users respectively. In some countries the ratio of Internet users is negligible. Besides, Saudi Arabia has less than 2% citizens with the internet access and there are fewer than 5 users per thousand in Syria. One noticeable feature is that the connectivity to the Internet does not seem to be directly related to the number of computers citizens own. In countries like the UAE, Lebanon, Jordan and Oman, there are more Internet users than computer users. However, in Kuwait, Saudi Arabia and Syria, the scenario is opposite.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use neutral wording Original: surprising differences Suggested revision: differences Why it matters: Academic reports should describe the data without subjective evaluation.
- 2. Wrong data term Original: discernment Suggested revision: use Why it matters: The graph measures computer and Internet use, not discernment.
- 3. Avoid subjective judgment Original: dismaying scenario Suggested revision: low levels Why it matters: A neutral phrase describes the comparatively small figures more appropriately.
- 4. Simplify wording Original: Internet technology's penetration Suggested revision: Internet use Why it matters: This direct term matches the quantity displayed in the chart.
- 5. Fix verb agreement Original: present Suggested revision: shows Why it matters: A singular subject requires a singular verb form.
- 6. Fix capitalization Original: The Suggested revision: the Why it matters: The article should not be capitalized within the sentence.
- 7. Correct Lebanon figure Original: 6 Suggested revision: 5 Why it matters: The chart shows about 50 computer users per 1,000 inhabitants, equivalent to roughly 5%.
- 8. Correct comparison boundary Original: less than 20 computers per 1000 Suggested revision: no more than 20 computers per 1,000 Why it matters: Morocco is shown at approximately 20 per 1,000 rather than below that level.
- 9. Report measured variable Original: Internet use and availability Suggested revision: Internet use Why it matters: The chart gives user numbers and does not measure availability.
- 10. Remove redundant synonym Original: netizens, Internet users, Suggested revision: Internet users Why it matters: Using both labels for the same group is unnecessary and interrupts the sentence.
- 11. Clarify ranking Original: are second and third again Suggested revision: again rank second and third Why it matters: This wording states the repeated ranking more directly.
- 12. Complete percentage phrase Original: 10% and 8% users Suggested revision: 10% and 8% of residents Why it matters: Percentages require an of-phrase identifying the population measured.
Suggested Rewrites
- surprising differences differences
- discernment use
- dismaying scenario low levels
- Internet technology's penetration Internet use
- present shows
- The the
Why this response received Band 6.5
The report’s strongest feature is its broad, mostly accurate comparison of computer and Internet use, including the leading position of the UAE and the differing relationship between the two measures. Its main limitation is precision: it switches between percentages and per-thousand units without explanation and introduces Oman, which is absent from the chart; prioritise consistent units, fully chart-based comparisons, and neutral academic wording.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The report identifies the main extremes and relationships and gives several accurate converted values, but it mixes units and includes the unsupported country Oman.
Use the chart’s per-1,000 unit consistently and ensure every country named appears in the visual.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response moves clearly from an overview to computer data, Internet data, and a final comparison, although it is presented as one long paragraph.
Separate the overview and the two main comparison groups into distinct paragraphs to make the progression easier to scan.
Lexical Resource
There is a useful range of topic vocabulary, but choices such as “discernment,” “dismaying scenario,” and “the scenario is opposite” are imprecise or unnatural.
Prefer neutral, precise terms such as “computer ownership,” “Internet penetration,” and “the reverse pattern.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of sentence structures communicates the comparisons clearly, though agreement, article, and preposition errors recur in several sentences.
Edit forms such as “the chart presents,” “less than 2% of citizens,” and “the opposite pattern.”
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph below shows the number of Computer and Internet users in different Arab countries.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.