The graph below shows the number of Computer and Internet users in different Arab countries.
Sample Response
The bar graph outlines the proportion of Arab citizens who are connected to the Internet and use computers. Generally speaking, the UAE and Kuwait have by far the highest ratio of netizens, citizens who have access to the computer and Internet technology, while it was the lowest in Egypt and Syria. As the diagram suggests, around one-third of the UAE citizens have access to the Internet, a ratio which is quite higher than their computer possessions. Kuwait in terms of its internet and computer users stood at the second position but has a significantly lower number of netizens when compared to that of the UAE. Besides, roughly 10% Kuwaitis own computers and use the Internet. Lebanese Internet users were somewhat higher than their ratio of computer owners and only 50 out of thousand Lebanese owned computers and their Internet users’ ratio was slightly higher. Interestingly computer ownership in Saudi Arabia was roughly 0.7% and the Internet users were even lower. Finally, computer and the Internet users in the remaining Arab countries like Morocco, Jordan, Oman and Syria were fewer than 0.5% and this depicts a dismaying figure in terms of computer and Internet technology penetration in these countries.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use chart unit Original: proportion of Arab citizens Suggested revision: number of users per 1,000 inhabitants Why it matters: The vertical scale gives users per 1,000 inhabitants rather than a general proportion.
- 2. Name measured group Original: ratio of netizens Suggested revision: number of Internet users Why it matters: The chart measures a number per 1,000 inhabitants, so 'ratio of netizens' is imprecise.
- 3. Use natural wording Original: access to the computer and Internet technology Suggested revision: access to computers and the Internet Why it matters: This phrasing is more natural and directly matches the two chart series.
- 4. Correct lowest countries Original: while it was the lowest in Egypt and Syria Suggested revision: while the lowest computer figure was in Egypt and the lowest Internet figure was in Saudi Arabia Why it matters: Syria is not shown, and the lowest values occur in Egypt and Saudi Arabia for the respective series.
- 5. Use consistent labels Original: its internet and computer users Suggested revision: its Internet and computer-user figures Why it matters: Capitalize 'Internet' and refer to the two numerical figures rather than to the people themselves.
- 6. Use concise ranking Original: stood at the second position Suggested revision: ranked second Why it matters: 'Ranked second' expresses the comparison more directly.
- 7. Keep tense consistent Original: has Suggested revision: had Why it matters: The past tense should remain consistent with 'stood' in the same sentence.
- 8. Use chart terminology Original: number of netizens Suggested revision: Internet-user figure Why it matters: This term identifies the plotted measure more precisely.
- 9. Clarify comparison Original: when compared to that of the UAE Suggested revision: than the UAE figure Why it matters: The concise comparison removes the vague reference in 'that of'.
- 10. Add introductory comma Original: Interestingly computer Suggested revision: Interestingly, computer Why it matters: An introductory sentence adverb should be followed by a comma.
- 11. Correct Saudi figure Original: roughly 0.7% Suggested revision: roughly 7% Why it matters: About 70 computer users per 1,000 inhabitants is approximately 7%, not 0.7%.
- 12. Fix shared noun phrase Original: computer and the Internet users Suggested revision: computer and Internet users Why it matters: The article should not separate the coordinated modifiers of 'users'.
Suggested Rewrites
- proportion of Arab citizens number of users per 1,000 inhabitants
- ratio of netizens number of Internet users
- access to the computer and Internet technology access to computers and the Internet
- while it was the lowest in Egypt and Syria while the lowest computer figure was in Egypt and the lowest Internet figure was in Saudi Arabia
- its internet and computer users its Internet and computer-user figures
- stood at the second position ranked second
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response establishes the broad prominence of the UAE and Kuwait and includes some valid comparisons, particularly for Lebanon and the UAE. Its main limitation is extensive mishandling of the chart's per-1,000 unit, alongside the invention of Syria and several values that are ten times too small. The priority is to report the original scale accurately and select representative figures from every major high and low.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The main high-performing countries are recognised, but numerous figures misinterpret the per-1,000 scale and Syria is reported despite not appearing in the chart.
Retain the chart's per-1,000 unit and verify each country and value, especially the low figures for Saudi Arabia, Jordan, Morocco, and Oman.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information progresses from an overview to country examples with generally clear linking, though the single dense paragraph and loosely grouped final sentence weaken organisation.
Separate the overview from two detail paragraphs, grouping the highest countries together and then comparing the remaining countries.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a reasonable range of topic vocabulary, but collocations such as computer possessions and ratio of netizens are sometimes unnatural or imprecise.
Prefer neutral, accurate terms such as computer users, Internet users, figures, and users per 1,000 inhabitants.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Varied sentence structures are attempted and meaning remains clear, although article, agreement, and comparison errors occur repeatedly.
Improve control of plural noun phrases and comparison structures, particularly after percentages and expressions such as higher than.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph below shows the number of Computer and Internet users in different Arab countries.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.