The charts below give information on the location and types of dance classes young people in a town in Australia are currently attending.
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Sample Response
The pie chart illustrates how the proportion of students choosing different locationslocation for dance classes variesdiffers. The bar chart indicates the types of dance classes young people across two age groups are currently attendingyoung people are currently attending in a town in Australia.
Overall, private studios are the top choice for dance classes. In addition, there is a significant connection between the age of studentsage of student and the type of dance they prefer.
Private studios were the most popular venuehave a commanding lead, representing Deletea roughly half of the total share(48%), whereas college-based studios accounted for the smallest sharecover the least proportion at 10%. In addition, the difference betweendifference between school halls and community halls and othercommunity hall and other locations was relatively small, accounting for 24% and 18% respectively.
Regarding the types of dance, there is a substantial gap in ballet attendance between the two age groups, asbetween the two age groups, which can be seen that the number of students under 11 is approximately twice as large as that of students aged 11 to 16that of aged from 11 to 16. In stark contrast, as for modern dance, the figure for young people from 11 to 16 is considerably larger than that of those aged under 11counterpart of aged below 11. Moreover, tap dance is equallynearly popular with the two groups, standing at slightly morea slight more than 400 each.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response effectively summarizes the main trends and provides accurate statistical support from both charts. The main limitation is the omission of the category name 'Ballet' when describing the first set of bar chart figures, along with minor article and preposition errors. The highest-priority improvement is to explicitly name all chart categories and carefully proofread for grammatical accuracy.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
Key features and data are accurately described with a clear overview, though the category name for Ballet was omitted in the detailed breakdown.
Ensure every specific category name from the visual prompt is explicitly mentioned alongside its reported values.
Coherence and Cohesion
The overview and supporting paragraphs are logically arranged with smooth transitions between key comparisons.
Maintain this clear paragraph structure while ensuring referencing words clearly connect to their intended subjects.
Lexical Resource
A good range of vocabulary is used to describe proportions and comparative data effectively.
Refine natural phrasing in complex structures to avoid slightly awkward expressions.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of complex sentence structures is attempted, though minor errors in articles and prepositional phrases recur.
Focus on proofreading noun phrases for missing articles and correct preposition usage.