The charts below show the levels of participation in education and science in developing and industrialised countries in 1980 and 1990.
Sample Response
The given bar graphs compare the educational involvements of students in term of total years of education and their participation in science-related subjects in developing and industrial countries from the year 1980 to 1990. As is presented in the first bar graph, average years of schooling in developing countries were approximately 2 years while in industrial countries schooling years were over 8 years in 1980. Interestingly after one decade schooling years in developing countries magnified to over 3 years while it surged to over 10 years in industrial countries. As is observed from the second bar graph, the number of scientists and technicians were much higher in industrial countries than in developing countries. Percentage of scientists and technicians were less than 20 percent in developing countries from 1980 to 1990 while it was just over 40 percent in 1980 which soared to approximately 70 percent in 1990. According to the third bar graph, it can be seen clearly, spending on research and development in industrial countries was far higher than developing countries. The spending in 1980 in developing countries was around 50 billion US dollars while it was 150 billion dollars in industrial countries. Ultimately, after a decade spending on research and development slumped significantly almost 50 percent while spending in industrial countries peaked to approximately 350 billion US dollars respectively.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix agreement Original: were Suggested revision: was Why it matters: The singular head noun schooling requires was.
- 2. Fix comparison clause Original: in industrial countries schooling years were Suggested revision: in industrialised countries the average was Why it matters: This creates a grammatical parallel comparison with the average in developing countries.
- 3. Use trend verb Original: magnified Suggested revision: increased Why it matters: Magnified is not a natural verb for a rise in a statistical value.
- 4. Fix agreement Original: were Suggested revision: was Why it matters: The subject the number is singular.
- 5. Correct chart unit Original: Percentage of scientists and technicians were Suggested revision: The number of scientists and technicians per 1,000 people was Why it matters: The chart reports people per 1,000, not percentages.
- 6. Correct chart unit Original: less than 20 percent Suggested revision: fewer than 20 per 1,000 people Why it matters: This value is a count per 1,000 people rather than a percentage.
- 7. Correct value unit Original: just over 40 percent Suggested revision: about 45 per 1,000 people Why it matters: The 1980 industrialised-country figure is approximately 45 scientists and technicians per 1,000 people.
- 8. Correct value unit Original: 70 percent Suggested revision: 75 per 1,000 people Why it matters: The 1990 bar is approximately 75 per 1,000 people, not 70 percent.
- 9. Use concise reference Original: As is presented in the first bar graph Suggested revision: As shown in the first bar chart Why it matters: This is a more natural way to introduce visual evidence.
- 10. Remove extra article Original: The spending in 1980 Suggested revision: Spending in 1980 Why it matters: Spending is used naturally without the article in this context.
- 11. Mark opening phrase Original: after a decade spending Suggested revision: after a decade, spending Why it matters: A comma should separate the introductory time phrase from the main clause.
- 12. Add change preposition Original: slumped significantly almost 50 percent Suggested revision: fell significantly by almost 50 percent Why it matters: A proportional decrease is expressed with fell by.
Suggested Rewrites
- were was
- in industrial countries schooling years were in industrialised countries the average was
- magnified increased
- were was
- Percentage of scientists and technicians were The number of scientists and technicians per 1,000 people was
- less than 20 percent fewer than 20 per 1,000 people
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response covers all three charts and generally selects relevant comparisons, with the contrasts between developing and industrialised countries communicated clearly. Its main limitation is precision: scientists and technicians are incorrectly described as percentages, and several data descriptions and word choices are awkward. Prioritise an explicit overview of the main patterns and use each chart's units and figures exactly.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response addresses all three charts and captures the major disparities and trends, but it misstates the scientists-and-technicians unit as a percentage.
Provide a distinct overview and report the second chart as scientists and technicians per 1,000 people.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information progresses chart by chart and comparisons are easy to follow, although the single paragraph and repetitive linking make the organisation less polished.
Separate the overview from grouped details and vary linking devices without over-signposting each chart.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient range for comparisons and change, but inaccurate choices such as 'magnified' and 'peaked to' weaken precision.
Use natural data-reporting collocations such as 'rose to,' 'fell by,' and 'was higher than.'
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of sentence forms conveys the comparisons clearly, though agreement, article, and punctuation errors recur.
Proofread subject-verb agreement and sentence boundaries, especially around long clauses containing figures.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The charts below show the levels of participation in education and science in developing and industrialised countries in 1980 and 1990.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.