The charts below show the levels of participation in education and science in developing and industrialised countries in 1980 and 1990.
Sample Response
The bar charts compare the average years of education, learners' participation in science-related career as well as research spending in developing and developed countries from 1980 to 1990. According to the first bar graph, the average years of schooling in developing countries was only about 2 while this was over 8 years in industrialised countries in 1980. After ten years, the number of year in school on an average increased both in the developing and industrialised countries reaching just over 3 years in developing countries while over 10 years in developed countries. According to the second graph, the number of Scientist and Technician was much higher in developed countries than the developing countries. The percentage of Scientist and Technician in developing countries both in 1980 and 1990 was below 20 while this was around 50 on an average in developed countries. Finally, the third graph represents that the amount spent on Research and Development in industrially developed countries was much higher than the spending in developing countries. In 1980 the spending was around 50 billion US dollar in developing countries while this amount was more than 150 billion US dollar in developed countries. Interestingly, after 10 years the spending in Research & Development in developed countries was doubled while that amount decreased almost by 50% in developing countries.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Describe measure accurately Original: learners' participation in science-related career Suggested revision: the number of scientists and technicians per 1,000 people Why it matters: The second chart measures workers per 1,000 people, not learners entering a career.
- 2. Use snapshot dates Original: from 1980 to 1990 Suggested revision: in 1980 and 1990 Why it matters: The charts show two specific years rather than a continuous series.
- 3. Fix noun phrase Original: the number of year in school on an average Suggested revision: the average number of years in school Why it matters: The replacement corrects pluralisation and word order.
- 4. Fix both placement Original: increased both in the developing and industrialised countries Suggested revision: increased in both developing and industrialised countries Why it matters: 'Both' should directly introduce the two coordinated country groups.
- 5. Complete comparison Original: while over 10 years Suggested revision: and to over 10 years Why it matters: The original phrase lacks the verb relationship needed for the second figure.
- 6. Use plural nouns Original: number of Scientist and Technician Suggested revision: number of scientists and technicians Why it matters: These countable occupational nouns must be plural and lowercase.
- 7. Complete comparison phrase Original: the Suggested revision: in Why it matters: The comparison is between numbers in the two country groups.
- 8. Use reporting verb Original: represents Suggested revision: shows Why it matters: 'Show that' is the natural construction for describing a chart.
- 9. Use standard case Original: amount spent on Research and Development Suggested revision: amount spent on research and development Why it matters: The category is a common noun phrase and does not need title case in running text.
- 10. Use consistent label Original: industrially developed countries Suggested revision: industrialised countries Why it matters: This matches the country-group label used in the visual.
- 11. Add introductory comma Original: 1980 the spending Suggested revision: 1980, spending Why it matters: An introductory year phrase should be followed by a comma.
- 12. Format currency unit Original: 50 billion US dollar Suggested revision: US$50 billion Why it matters: This is the standard order and form for the currency amount.
Suggested Rewrites
- learners' participation in science-related career the number of scientists and technicians per 1,000 people
- from 1980 to 1990 in 1980 and 1990
- the number of year in school on an average the average number of years in school
- increased both in the developing and industrialised countries increased in both developing and industrialised countries
- while over 10 years and to over 10 years
- number of Scientist and Technician number of scientists and technicians
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response covers all three charts and consistently recognises the much stronger position of industrialised countries, while also noting the contrasting change in research spending. Its main limitation is inaccurate handling of the scientists-and-technicians chart, whose values are counts per 1,000 rather than percentages, combined with no concise overall summary. Prioritise an accurate overview of all major trends and report units and figures precisely.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
All three charts are addressed and broad contrasts are identified, but there is no distinct overview and the scientists-and-technicians data is mislabelled and understated.
Summarise the overall gap and trends first, then report scientists and technicians per 1,000 people, including the rise to about 75 in industrialised countries.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response moves through the charts in a logical order, but sequencing is mechanical and the entire report remains in one paragraph.
Add a separate overview and group detailed comparisons into clear education-and-workforce and research-spending paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is adequate for describing trends and comparisons, though several word forms and collocations are imprecise or unnatural.
Use precise expressions such as years of schooling, scientists and technicians per 1,000 people, and research expenditure.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses several complex sentences, but recurring agreement, plural, article, and clause-completion errors reduce control.
Check noun-number agreement and ensure both sides of while comparisons contain complete, parallel clauses.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The charts below show the levels of participation in education and science in developing and industrialised countries in 1980 and 1990.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.