The line graph shows estimated sales of gold in Dubai for 12 months in 2002 in millions of Dirhams. Write a report describing the information in the graph below.
Sample Response
The given line graph shows data on Gold sales in Dubai from January to December of the year 2002. As is presented in the illustration, the highest amounts of sales were done in March and lowest sales were in July and September. As is presented in the line graph, initially in January 2002, two hundred millions of Dirham Gold was sold in January and this amount kept increasing for the next two month and in March it reached to 350 million which is the largest amount throughout the whole year. After that, the sales volume keeps declining steadily and reached to 110 million in July. With some fluctuations, the sale amount reached to 200 million in August and finally, in December, it totalled about 200 million. In summary, Mars was the best month for Dubai Gold sales in the year 2002 and throughout the year the sale volume fluctuated keeping an approximate average of 180 million of Dirham per month.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Lowercase common noun Original: Gold sales Suggested revision: gold sales Why it matters: Gold is not a proper noun in this sentence.
- 2. Awkward collocation Original: highest amounts of sales were done Suggested revision: highest sales occurred Why it matters: Sales are not done; they occur or reach a level.
- 3. Number phrase Original: two hundred millions of Dirham Suggested revision: 200 million Dirhams Why it matters: Use million as a singular modifier after a number.
- 4. Plural noun Original: next two month Suggested revision: next two months Why it matters: Use the plural after two.
- 5. Remove preposition Original: reached to 350 million Suggested revision: reached 350 million Why it matters: Reach is not followed by to before the figure.
- 6. Tense consistency Original: keeps declining steadily Suggested revision: declined steadily Why it matters: Use past tense for figures from 2002.
- 7. Approximate value Original: reached to 110 million in July Suggested revision: fell to about 120 million in July Why it matters: The July point is closer to 120 million Dirhams.
- 8. Natural noun Original: the sale amount Suggested revision: sales Why it matters: Sales is the standard noun for this graph.
- 9. Month spelling Original: Mars Suggested revision: March Why it matters: The month is March.
- 10. Unit phrase Original: 180 million of Dirham Suggested revision: 180 million Dirhams Why it matters: Do not use of between million and Dirhams here.
- 11. Sentence rewrite Original: As is presented in the illustration, the highest amounts of sales were done in March and lowest sales were in July and September. Suggested revision: Overall, gold sales peaked in March and were lowest in July and September. Why it matters: This is simpler and uses natural graph-report wording.
- 12. Sentence rewrite Original: As is presented in the line graph, initially in January 2002, two hundred millions of Dirham Gold was sold in January and this amount kept increasing for the next two month and in March it reached to 350 million which is the largest amount throughout the whole year. Suggested revision: In January 2002, gold sales stood at 200 million Dirhams and then rose for the next two months, reaching a peak of 350 million in March. Why it matters: This fixes repetition, number phrasing, tense, and prepositions.
Suggested Rewrites
- Gold sales gold sales
- highest amounts of sales were done highest sales occurred
- two hundred millions of Dirham 200 million Dirhams
- next two month next two months
- reached to 350 million reached 350 million
- keeps declining steadily declined steadily
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The response covers the main peak in March, the lows around July and September, and the late-year recovery. Some values are approximate but a few are inaccurate, especially July at 110 instead of about 120 and December at about 200 instead of just under 200.
Recheck the plotted points and report the lowest months as about 120 million Dirhams, with December around 190 million.
Coherence and Cohesion
The report has an introduction, overview, chronological description, and summary, but it repeats As is presented and includes both an overview and a final summary with overlapping information.
Keep one concise overview near the beginning and then describe the monthly changes in one clear chronological paragraph.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is adequate for a line graph but includes awkward collocations such as sales were done, sale amount, and millions of Dirham.
Use standard line-graph language: sales stood at, rose to, fell to, peaked, dipped, and remained stable.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Frequent errors with tense, prepositions, plurals, and capitalization reduce control, though the message remains understandable.
Use past tense consistently for 2002 data and check number phrases such as two months and million Dirhams.