The line graph shows estimated sales of gold in Dubai for 12 months in 2002 in millions of Dirhams. Write a report describing the information in the graph below.
Sample Response
The line graph shows monthly gold sales amount in Dubai throughout the year 2012. The sales amount is given in million Dirhams for every month in 2012. A glance at the diagram reveals that in March the sale amount was highest and average monthly sale of gold was between 100 and 200 million Dirhams. According to the line graph, total sales of gold was 200 million Dirhams in January 2002 in Dubai and this amount rapidly increased in the next two months. In March, the sales amounted 350 million Dirhams, the highest in the year but afterwards, the sales amount steadily declined till July when the gold sale was recorded at just over 110 million Dirhams. August’s gold sale went abruptly higher, over 200 million but it then dropped suddenly to 110 million again. Sales of gold climbed in the next month, October but remained almost stable for the rest of the year at around 170-180 million Dirhams. At the end of the year, Dubai gold sale was recorded at approximately 185 million Dirhams, almost same as it was at the beginning of the year.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Wrong year Original: 2012 Suggested revision: 2002 Why it matters: The chart is for 2002, not 2012.
- 2. Natural collocation Original: sales amount Suggested revision: sales figures Why it matters: "Sales figures" is more natural in a graph report.
- 3. Unit phrasing Original: million Dirhams Suggested revision: millions of Dirhams Why it matters: The axis is expressed in millions.
- 4. Wrong year Original: every month in 2012 Suggested revision: each month in 2002 Why it matters: Keep the date consistent with the prompt.
- 5. Article use Original: the sale amount was highest Suggested revision: sales were highest Why it matters: "Sales" is plural and does not need "the" here.
- 6. Imprecise overview Original: average monthly sale of gold was between 100 and 200 million Dirhams Suggested revision: most monthly sales were between about 120 and 250 million Dirhams Why it matters: The graph has several months above 200, so this overview is too narrow.
- 7. Agreement Original: total sales of gold was Suggested revision: gold sales were Why it matters: Use a plural verb with "sales".
- 8. Missing preposition Original: sales amounted 350 million Dirhams Suggested revision: sales amounted to 350 million Dirhams Why it matters: Use "amounted to" before a figure.
- 9. Concise linker Original: but afterwards Suggested revision: after which Why it matters: This creates a smoother link within the sentence.
- 10. Formal wording Original: declined till July Suggested revision: declined until July Why it matters: "Until" is more formal and precise.
- 11. Awkward phrase Original: went abruptly higher Suggested revision: rose sharply Why it matters: This is a more natural graph-description phrase.
- 12. Missing preposition Original: over 200 million Suggested revision: to over 200 million Why it matters: Use "to" to show the new level.
Suggested Rewrites
- 2012 2002
- sales amount sales figures
- million Dirhams millions of Dirhams
- every month in 2012 each month in 2002
- the sale amount was highest sales were highest
- average monthly sale of gold was between 100 and 200 million Dirhams most monthly sales were between about 120 and 250 million Dirhams
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The report covers the main trend, peak, decline, August rise, and late-year stability. However, it states the wrong year twice and gives a few approximate figures imprecisely.
Correct the year to 2002 throughout and tighten key values such as July and September at about 120 million Dirhams.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses logically through the year, but it is written as one long paragraph and some transitions are mechanical.
Use a short overview paragraph followed by a chronological detail paragraph.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary range is adequate for a line graph, with useful terms such as increased, declined, dropped, and stable, but some collocations are awkward.
Use "sales" as a plural noun and prefer "stood at" or "reached" for figures.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Grammar is mostly understandable, but there are repeated article, agreement, and punctuation errors.
Check singular/plural agreement with "sales" and add commas around time phrases.