The line graph shows estimated sales of gold in Dubai for 12 months in 2002 in millions of Dirhams. Write a report describing the information in the graph below.
Sample Response
The given line graph compares the gold sales in Dubai from January 2002 to December 2002. The sale price is given in million of Dirham and it is evident from the diagram that gold sales in Dubai was highest in March while it was lowest in July & September.
According to the given illustration, the gold sale in Dubai was 200 million Dirham in January in the given year and it increased to around 230 million Dirham in the next month. The highest sale of the gold was in March amounting 350 million. From April to July, the sales amount kept on decreasing and reached to the lowest level in July with just above 100 million Dirham. In August the sale was just above 200 million and after that sales amount of Dubai gold showed some fluctuations. In September the sales amount again reached at the lowest point while at the end of the year, December 2012, the sale was just below 200 million Dirham.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Wrong variable Original: sale price Suggested revision: sales figures Why it matters: The graph shows estimated sales, not prices.
- 2. Unit phrase Original: million of Dirham Suggested revision: millions of dirhams Why it matters: Use the plural unit phrase shown by the graph.
- 3. Agreement error Original: gold sales in Dubai was Suggested revision: gold sales in Dubai were Why it matters: The subject “sales” is plural.
- 4. Formal connector Original: July & September Suggested revision: July and September Why it matters: Avoid ampersands in formal IELTS writing.
- 5. Unnatural noun Original: the gold sale Suggested revision: gold sales Why it matters: The plural noun is more natural for monthly sales totals.
- 6. Missing preposition Original: amounting 350 million Suggested revision: amounting to 350 million Why it matters: The verb “amount” requires “to” before a figure.
- 7. Academic style Original: kept on decreasing Suggested revision: continued to decrease Why it matters: This is more formal and concise.
- 8. Verb pattern Original: reached to the lowest level Suggested revision: reached the lowest level Why it matters: “Reach” takes a direct object without “to”.
- 9. Verb pattern Original: reached at the lowest point Suggested revision: reached the lowest point Why it matters: Do not use “at” after “reached”.
- 10. Wrong year Original: December 2012 Suggested revision: December 2002 Why it matters: The task and graph are for 2002, so 2012 is inaccurate.
- 11. Sentence rewrite Original: The sale price is given in million of Dirham and it is evident from the diagram that gold sales in Dubai was highest in March while it was lowest in July & September. Suggested revision: The figures are given in millions of dirhams, and sales were highest in March while the lowest levels occurred in July and September. Why it matters: This corrects the variable, unit, agreement, and formal style.
- 12. Sentence rewrite Original: From April to July, the sales amount kept on decreasing and reached to the lowest level in July with just above 100 million Dirham. Suggested revision: From April to July, sales fell steadily from about 250 million to just over 100 million dirhams. Why it matters: A start and end value gives a clearer trend description.
Suggested Rewrites
- sale price sales figures
- million of Dirham millions of dirhams
- gold sales in Dubai was gold sales in Dubai were
- July & September July and September
- the gold sale gold sales
- amounting 350 million amounting to 350 million
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The report identifies the peak in March, the low points in July and September, and the broad fall-and-recovery pattern. It loses accuracy through the “sale price” wording, the incorrect final year, and limited comparison of the middle months.
State that the graph shows sales, not prices, and give a tighter overview of the sharp March peak, July/September troughs, and modest final recovery.
Coherence and Cohesion
The two-paragraph structure is clear and the monthly sequence is mostly coherent, though the second paragraph becomes a list of movements.
Combine related movements into phases rather than reporting almost every month separately.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary range is sufficient but repetitive around “sale/sales amount”, and several collocations are unnatural.
Vary language with “rose”, “peaked”, “fell steadily”, “rebounded”, “levelled off”, and “stood at”.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Grammar is understandable but contains agreement, preposition, article, and number errors.
Check singular/plural forms after “sales”, use “in millions of dirhams”, and avoid unnecessary articles before uncountable nouns.