The chart below shows the percentage of employees working from home in four industries in 2015 and 2025.
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Sample Response
The bar chart illustrates the proportion of remote employees in technology, finance, education, and retail in 2015 and 2025.
Overall, all four industriesall the four industries saw significant growth from 2015 to 2025 in the percentagegrew significantly from 2015 to 2025 in terms of their percentage of employees working from home, and their rankings in 2025 across the fourfor sectors followed the same pattern asidentical pattern to those in 2015.
In 2015, remote workers accounted for the largest percentage in technology, at approximately 20%, followed by those working in finance, at around 14%, and those in education , at exactlyabout 10%, double the figure for retaildoubled those in retail. By 2025However, in 2025, all the sectors witnessed considerable increases in employees working from home. To be specific, remote workers in technologytechnological remote workers made up the highest percentage of theirits total, at about 55%55% percent, which was 15 percentage points higher15% higher than the second-largest group, finance employeessecond largest group finance employees. The figure for education also saw an increase in remote workers reaching 30%taking up 30%, double the 15% recorded for retailtwo times that in retail.
Why this response received Band 7.5
The report successfully summarizes the key trends and provides accurate comparative data from the chart across all four sectors. However, minor grammatical slips and mechanical spacing errors slightly hinder the overall precision of the presentation. To raise the overall quality, focus on proofreading for sentence structure completeness and eliminating minor typographical errors.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
A clear overview is provided, and all key data points and sector comparisons are accurately reported.
Ensure all implicit numerical values are explicitly stated alongside comparative fractions or multiples.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is logically organized by paragraph and cohesive devices are used appropriately overall.
Vary cohesive phrases and refine punctuation around lists and clauses to enhance readability.
Lexical Resource
A good range of vocabulary related to statistics and trends is used with general flexibility.
Avoid minor lexical redundancies such as writing percentage symbols together with the word percent.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A variety of complex sentence structures is attempted with good control, despite a few minor errors.
Check participle clauses and noun-phrase modifiers to ensure complete and accurate grammatical connections.