the chart below shows the number of people employed in five types of work in one region of Australia in 2001 and 2008.
Sample Response
The bar chart illustrates the number of employees in five different sectors, namely sales, accounting, computing, nursing and farming, in one area of Australia in 2001 and 2008. Overall, it is obvious that sales had the largest number of employees in both years, while farming had the smallest figure. In addition, the number of people in sales, computing and nursing witnessed an upward trend. However, accounting and farming experienced a downward trendtendency. Looking at the details,In detail, the number of people working in the sales sector increased from 155,000 to roughly 165,000 from 2001 to 2008. When it comes to computing and nursing, each sector employed around 53,000 peopleboth sectors employed nearly 53,000 in 2001, while the former rose markedly to 75,000 and the latter rose slightly to 55,000 in 2008. In comparison, employment in the accounting and farming sectors decreased from around 65,000decreased from 61,000 and around 27,000and 22,000 to 59,000 and 19,000, respectively.and 19,000 respectively.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The essay presents a well-structured response with a clear overview and accurate data extraction from the bar chart. Its main strength lies in the seamless comparison of data using appropriate cohesive devices and varied sentence patterns. To enhance the report further, aim to group data more analytically by comparing sector trends directly rather than strictly dividing into rising and falling categories.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
All key features and general trends across the five job sectors are accurately identified and highlighted with supporting figures.
Ensure high precision when reading data values against axis lines to avoid minor discrepancies in figures like accounting and farming.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is organized logically with clear paragraphing and smooth transitions between categories.
Vary referencing cohesive phrases further to avoid overusing repetitive structures across comparative sentences.
Lexical Resource
A good range of topic-specific vocabulary and flexible collocation choices are used naturally.
Incorporate a wider selection of precise statistical verbs and adverbs to describe data changes with subtle nuance.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Sentences are consistently accurate and feature a wide variety of complex grammatical structures.
Maintain this high standard of grammatical control while attempting slightly more advanced complex structures such as participial clauses.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
the chart below shows the number of people employed in five types of work in one region of Australia in 2001 and 2008.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.