The graph below shows the different modes of transport used to travel to and from work in one European city in 1960, 1980 and 2000.
Sample Response
The given bar demonstrates four different transportation which was used for travel and work in 1960, 1980 and in 2000 in a European city. Overall, it can be seen that car and bus usage over the period of time is an opposite trend with each other while train and tube were with each other too.
For car, in 1960, only 6% of people were using this mode of transportation which percentage grew to 23% and the peak of 36% in 1980 and 2000 respectively. For bus, the highest percentage of commuters used this transportation in 1960, on account of over 37%. However, in 1980, it dropped from 38% to just a quarter and there to 15% in 2000.
For tube, 18% of commuters had used this mode of transportation in 1960, and after two decades, it had same proportion as the car had in 1980. In 2000 the percentage of passengers was precisely 25%. For train, there were 16% of people in 1960, and after four decades, it was 22% after peak up in 1960 to the same proportion as the tube had in 1960.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Name the graphic Original: The given bar Suggested revision: The bar chart Why it matters: Bar chart is the correct name for this visual.
- 2. Use reporting verb Original: demonstrates Suggested revision: illustrates Why it matters: Illustrates is a more natural reporting verb for chart data.
- 3. Use countable noun Original: four different transportation Suggested revision: four different modes of transport Why it matters: Transportation is uncountable, so the four categories should be called modes of transport.
- 4. Fix agreement Original: which was used Suggested revision: that were used Why it matters: The relative clause refers to the plural noun modes.
- 5. Preserve task meaning Original: for travel and work Suggested revision: to travel to and from work Why it matters: The chart concerns commuting to and from work, rather than travel and work as separate activities.
- 6. Keep year list parallel Original: and in 2000 Suggested revision: and 2000 Why it matters: The repeated preposition is unnecessary in this parallel list of years.
- 7. Improve topic phrase Original: For bus Suggested revision: Regarding bus travel Why it matters: Regarding bus travel introduces the transport category more naturally.
- 8. Clarify comparison Original: the highest percentage of commuters used this transportation Suggested revision: bus use was highest Why it matters: The original construction does not clearly state that buses had the largest share.
- 9. Correct bus figure Original: on account of over 37% Suggested revision: at approximately 39% Why it matters: The graph shows bus use at about 39% in 1960.
- 10. Correct trend figures Original: just a quarter and there to 15% Suggested revision: about 27% and then to 15% Why it matters: Bus use falls to roughly 27% in 1980 and then to 15% in 2000.
- 11. Improve topic phrase Original: For tube Suggested revision: Regarding tube travel Why it matters: Regarding tube travel introduces this category more naturally.
- 12. Use simple past Original: had used Suggested revision: used Why it matters: The simple past is appropriate for a single value recorded in 1960.
Suggested Rewrites
- The given bar The bar chart
- demonstrates illustrates
- four different transportation four different modes of transport
- which was used that were used
- for travel and work to travel to and from work
- and in 2000 and 2000
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response is organised by transport mode and attempts to report figures for all three years, so the general subject remains understandable. However, the overview is unclear and several values or trends are inaccurate, particularly the 1960 tube figure and the train description, while frequent grammatical and collocational errors reduce precision. First, establish the four main patterns accurately, then express each comparison in simpler, controlled sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
All four modes are mentioned, but the overview only partly conveys the main trends and multiple figures and changes are inaccurately reported.
State clearly that car use rose sharply, bus use fell substantially, and train and tube figures fluctuated, then verify every percentage.
Coherence and Cohesion
The mode-based paragraphs provide basic organisation, although mechanical openings and unclear referencing disrupt the progression within sentences.
Use direct comparative topic sentences and replace vague links such as there to and with each other with explicit relationships.
Lexical Resource
The response shows some relevant transport and trend vocabulary, but frequent inaccurate collocations make several descriptions unnatural or unclear.
Use precise combinations such as percentage of commuters, rose to a peak, and followed an opposite trend.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of structures is attempted, but frequent errors in agreement, articles, relative clauses, and sentence construction sometimes make meaning difficult.
Build shorter comparison sentences and check subject-verb agreement, articles, and clause boundaries before adding more complex structures.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph below shows the different modes of transport used to travel to and from work in one European city in 1960, 1980 and 2000.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.