The Bar graph below shows the Expenditure in Million Pounds on fast food items by income groups in the UK. Expenditure on Fast Foods (in Million Pounds) by Income Groups, UK 1990
Sample Response
The given bar graph shows data on the expenses made by the United Kingdom citizens for the fast food item in 1990. As is observed from the given data, people with high-income group spent more money on fast foods and the hamburger was the most preferred food among the high and average earning people. According to the bar graph, the people who had high income did the maximum expense on the fast food items. Hamburger was the most preferred fast food items both for the average and high earning group people. More than 40 million pounds was expensed by the high earning people in this single fast food items. Two other popular fast food items among the high earning people were Pizza and Fish/ Chips for which the high earners expensed more than 15 million pounds in 1990. Among the average earning people, the second most favourite fast food item was fish/ chips for which they made an expense of 25 million pounds in this year. On the other hand, Pizza was the least popular item among the people of low income and they preferred fish/ chips and hamburger over the pizza.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Natural phrasing Original: expenses made by the United Kingdom citizens Suggested revision: expenditure by UK consumers Why it matters: This is more concise and natural.
- 2. Plural category Original: the fast food item Suggested revision: fast food items Why it matters: The chart includes three items.
- 3. Noun phrase Original: people with high-income group Suggested revision: people in the high-income group Why it matters: Use “in the group” for category membership.
- 4. Wrong collocation Original: did the maximum expense Suggested revision: spent the most Why it matters: Use “spent” for expenditure.
- 5. Agreement Original: the most preferred fast food items Suggested revision: the most preferred fast food item Why it matters: Hamburger is one item.
- 6. Passive form Original: More than 40 million pounds was expensed Suggested revision: More than 40 million pounds was spent Why it matters: Use the correct passive verb “spent”.
- 7. Number agreement Original: in this single fast food items Suggested revision: on this single fast food item Why it matters: Use “on” for spending and singular “item”.
- 8. Food label punctuation Original: Pizza and Fish/ Chips Suggested revision: pizza and fish and chips Why it matters: Write the food names naturally in running text.
- 9. Approximate values Original: more than 15 million pounds Suggested revision: about 18 million and 17 million pounds Why it matters: Closer figures improve data accuracy.
- 10. Measure wording Original: Pizza was the least popular item Suggested revision: Pizza had the lowest expenditure Why it matters: The chart measures spending, not directly popularity.
- 11. Sentence rewrite Original: As is observed from the given data, people with high-income group spent more money on fast foods and the hamburger was the most preferred food among the high and average earning people. Suggested revision: Overall, the high-income group spent the most on fast food, and hamburgers attracted the highest expenditure among both high- and average-income consumers. Why it matters: This fixes grammar and states the main pattern accurately.
- 12. Sentence rewrite Original: Among the average earning people, the second most favourite fast food item was fish/ chips for which they made an expense of 25 million pounds in this year. Suggested revision: Among average-income consumers, fish and chips ranked second at about 25 million pounds. Why it matters: This is concise and uses spending language.
Suggested Rewrites
- expenses made by the United Kingdom citizens expenditure by UK consumers
- the fast food item fast food items
- people with high-income group people in the high-income group
- did the maximum expense spent the most
- the most preferred fast food items the most preferred fast food item
- More than 40 million pounds was expensed More than 40 million pounds was spent
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The response identifies the main pattern that higher income groups spent more overall and that hamburgers led among high- and average-income groups. It gives limited exact data, misses the full low-income comparison, and does not clearly contrast all three foods across all groups.
Add the approximate figures for each income group and state that fish and chips were highest among low-income consumers while pizza was lowest there.
Coherence and Cohesion
The answer is understandable and follows a general-to-detail pattern, but it is one long paragraph with repeated ideas.
Use a short overview paragraph, then one paragraph comparing high/average earners and one for low earners.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is serviceable but repetitive and sometimes unnatural, especially around “expense” and “fast food items”.
Use “spent”, “expenditure”, “amount”, “category”, and food names directly instead of repeating “items”.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
There are frequent article, plural, and passive-form errors, but meaning remains mostly clear.
Revise noun phrases after “income group”, “food item”, and passive expressions such as “was spent”.